Saved
by Pendragon2
Summary: A disturbing vision and its tragic fulfillment drive Alice Brandon to Forks. Jasper Hale struggles with resisting human blood. What if it wasn't Edward and Bella? What if it were Alice and Jasper dealing with a human/vampire romance? T for language/themes
1. Prologue: Part I

A/N: Hello. So this story has been in the works since Breaking Dawn came out. I like to finish a story before I publish any of it, and here it is. Some things will reflect Twilight; that's on purpose. It's a parallel story, I guess. This is the first part of the prologue. There aren't a lot of chapters, but they're all kind of long. I don't usually like writing POV switches, but I have so much fun in Jasper's head that I couldn't stay out. POV changes are marked with an * throughout the story.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

* * *

Prologue, Part I

_Somewhere over the Rocky Mountains_

The closer the plane got to the ground, the more miserable I was. I wanted to stay in the air forever. Even better, I wanted to go back and stay in the past forever. Normally, I would have been excited to go to a new place. I would have been excited to see my aunt, and meet all the new people in my new school, despite the fact that I was leaving all my old friends. We would keep in touch, if they still wanted to. I just wasn't the excitable fourteen-year-old I had been when I first entered ninth grade.

I'd had a lot of issues with excitement lately.

It started less than a month ago, when I had a vision of Mom's death. It wasn't abnormal, me having visions. I had seen things before they happened since I was born. Usually it was just small things, like knowing that my little sister Cynthia would fall off the swings before she got to the park, or that my teacher was going to be absent the day before she was. They weren't very clear, usually; I just saw a snippet of action. Often they were only in dreams, and I couldn't remember what happened.

Dad thought that there was something wrong with me. He thought we should see a doctor, or send me to some sort of institution. Mom wouldn't let him. She said that the visions were harmless, a gift. She was very into New Age spiritualism. It was a sore subject for them, one that might have destroyed their marriage if I hadn't stopped telling anyone but my mom about my visions.

But this vision was different. It was the clearest one I'd ever had, and it knocked me out. One second, I was having dinner with my family, and the next, my vision was filled with the screeching of metal on metal as someone ran a stop-light straight into my mother's car. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, my parents standing over me. I immediately told them everything. Mom was obviously worried, but she put on a brave face for us. She suggested that maybe she should lay off driving for a little while. Dad told her she was being silly. He convinced them that it was just in my imagination. Nothing to worry about.

The next day, Mom was dead, killed almost instantly on her way home from the grocery store.

A family friend picked me and Cynthia up from school and drove us to the hospital. Dad was already there, sitting in the ICU's waiting room with his head in his hands.

It wasn't until the funeral a few days later that I spoke to him again. After the service, after the burial, I confronted him.

_"I told you. I saw it happen."_

_"You saw no such thing." _

_"Yes, I did!"_

_"A coincidence."_

_"What's wrong with you? It wasn't a coincidence."_

_"It's not possible."_

_"What's wrong with you? Why couldn't you just listen to me?"_

_"Be quiet, Alice."_

_"This is all your fault!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"If you had just listened to me, she would still be alive! You killed her!"_

_"Mary Alice—"_

_"You killed her! I hate you! I wish you were dead and not her!"_

I ran outside to the porch of the funeral home. Through the door, I could see Aunt Karen go up to Dad and speak to him quietly. A few minutes later, she came outside to speak to me. She told me that Mom had called her the night of the vision. She'd asked Karen to look out me if something happened, though Karen didn't know why. Mom didn't trust Dad not to shut me away in a mental hospital. It was then that I saw how deep of a wedge my visions had driven between them. Aunt Karen realized that I wouldn't be able to live in the same house as my dad. She asked if I would be happier living with her and her family in Washington state. And despite the fact that my whole life was in Pennsylvania, I agreed. I couldn't stay at home with the father I still considered a murderer.

And so I would not be continuing my first year of high school with the friends I'd known since kindergarden. I was going to Forks High, the population of which was less than 400.

The only thing that kept me from going crazy (in a more literal sense) was the recurring dream that began after the move to Forks was announced. It was of a black-eyed angel. He was tall, blond, and deathly pale, with dark circles around his eyes, as though he hadn't had enough sleep. Even with onyx eyes that drew me and terrified me at the same time, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen (or dreamed). Though I told myself that he was just a dream, I knew that I could never imagine something so perfect.

The plane touched down in Seattle. Aunt Karen had gone back after the funeral to get things ready for me. I had been packing for the past few days and saying goodbye to my friends. I hadn't spoken to Dad since the funeral.

Aunt Karen and her son Mike, who was my age, were waiting for us outside of security. "Oh, Alice," she said as she embraced me. "I'm happy you came to stay with us, whatever the circumstances."

"Thank you," I said. There were no words to describe how grateful I was to never have to live in the same house with my dad again.

"This is what family is for. And don't you worry about fitting in at your new school. Mike is going to help you. He'll introduce you to all his friends!"

Mike looked about as happy and I felt. We hadn't really hung out in a while. It would be weird to live in his house. And I doubted he really wanted to insert his cousin into his group of friends.

I stared out the window as the sodden forest whizzed past. Four years until college. Then I could go back to Philly, or on to New York, or D.C. Somewhere on the east coast. Somewhere that had sun. Four years. Not a lot of time, in the grand scheme of things.

But it was long enough.

We pulled up to the house, a normal four bedroom split-level. Modest, clean, and warm. Homey. I hoped it would feel like home to me, too.

Aunt Karen lead me up the stairs to the small guest bedroom that now belonged to me, Mike trailing behind with my suitcases. It was plain, white walls, wood floor. A double bed sat against the same wall as the door, across from a window that looked out into the woods that bordered this side of the house.

"You can do anything you want with it. We'll paint it and get you some posters. Feel free to make it your own. Just tell me what you want to do. You're not a guest here. This is your home."

"Thanks," I said, trying to inject some enthusiasm into my voice. "I'll try to think of something to do with it."

She hugged me lightly and walked out of the room. I stared out the window into the woods. They were deep and dark in the damp twilight. My imagination began to run, trying to find shapes and stories in the overlapping green branches.

I remembered that Mike was still in the room. "Um, thanks," I said. Awkward.

"No problem," he muttered.

I wanted to be open. I wanted to be friends, like we were when we were little kids. I wanted to cast off this depressed girl who was living inside of me. I loved life. I enjoyed myself. I was a happy person. Where had I gone?

"You don't have to hang out with me at school or anything. I'll find my own friends." In a school smaller than my class at home. "Really."

"It's no big deal. I don't mind."

We stood there for another few seconds. "So, um, I'll just let you get settled. Mom'll call you down for dinner soon." He left me to my thoughts.

Today was Saturday. The day after tomorrow, I had to enter high school with a miniscule group of kids who had been together since they were born. I would stand out like a sore thumb: Mike Newton's city cousin whose mom was dead. Not to mention that she had visions of the future too, but they didn't know that. Nor would they ever. Only two other living people knew, and they didn't care anymore. I would never mention another vision again. I would forget about them, and maybe, if I pretended they didn't exist, they would stop.

Sunday passed quickly, considering all I did was unpack and organize my things. One moment I was unzipping my suitcase, and the next minute, I was sliding into bed, my backpack packed for my first day of school. At least it was only a month into the year.

The next day, I purposefully set my alarm so that I would have exactly enough time to get dressed and eat before leaving. I would rather be rushed than have extra time on my hands. I dug up one of my favorite sweaters, pink cashmere, with a white cami underneath.

Karen drove Mike and I up to the office and dropped us off. "Your enrollment should be all set," she said. "Mike will be able to show you where you need to go. Have a good day!"

Mike lead me silently up the sidewalk to the building. "Hello, Mike," said the red-haired secretary.

"Hi, Mrs. Cope. This is my cousin, Mary Alice Brandon."

"Oh, yes! I have your schedule right here." She handed it to me, as well as a map and a slip to be signed by all my teachers. Mike looked at my schedule as we walked toward the main buildings. "You're in all my classes. That's a nice coincidence."

"Yeah," I said. Sure. Coincidence.

It wasn't long before Mike was hailed by a group of boys. I followed awkwardly, wishing that I could disappear. If only Mike were a girl.

"Hey guys. This is my cousin, Alice Brandon. She just moved in with us. Alice, this is Connor, Lee, and Tyler."

I gave them a small wave. "Nice to meet you," I mumbled.

"So, why'd you come to Forks?" asked the one I thought was Tyler.

Mike interrupted. "Uh, no time to chat, we should get to Algebra early so that you can talk to Mrs. Clark."

"Thanks," I said as we walked away.

"No problem," he said. It didn't matter that all of Forks probably knew my life story (minus the paranormal ability), the gesture was still considerate. Maybe there was hope yet.

Mike continued to introduce me to what I began to think was the entire freshman class. Not that that was saying much, but it was still confusing. They all looked the same after they started asking the same nosy questions.

My classes weren't too bad. None of my teachers that morning made a big deal over my arrival. They didn't even mind when I said I preferred to be called Alice, not Mary. The material wasn't even that difficult.

All in all, the day was pretty good, so far, for a first day. I was already luckier than so many other new kids in the world: I knew I had a place to sit for lunch.

The first thing I noticed about the lunchroom was how every kid in school was there. Back at my old school, there were three lunch periods, each with almost five hundred kids in each one. This whole small-town thing would take some getting used to.

The second thing I noticed was the table of angels.

For a moment, my irrational side thought that was what they were. They were beautiful, certainly, but they weren't _angels_. Angels didn't sit in your school cafeteria. Besides, they didn't have wings.

There were five of them, three boys and two girls. They were all deathly pale, and had dark circles under their eyes. The girls both had figures that a model would die for. One was on the shorter side, with a shining curtain of dark hair, while the other was taller and more statuesque, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders like waves of liquid gold. One of the boys, the one with curly black hair, was absolutely enormous. Another was smaller, at least compared to the brute he was sitting next to, with gleaming bronze hair.

But it was the blonde boy that caught my attention.

It was my dark angel. The beautiful face that I had seen only hours before in a dream, surrounded by a mane of flaxen hair. His expression was moody and repressed, like this was the last place in the world he wanted to be. Something about him almost reminded me of a lion. He seemed wound tight, coiled to spring. His arms were well-toned, but his muscles were more sinewy than bulky.

And three seconds after I walked in, scanned the room, and saw him, he leapt up from his seat. His eyes bored into mine. They were so dark they were almost black, as they had been in my vision of him. An animalistic snarl rose from his throat. The cafeteria was suddenly silent, staring.

The two other boys had jumped up also, and were holding his arms. Were they _restraining_ him? From what? From me? I wanted to look behind me to check if there was something dangerous coming, but I was locked in his gaze.

He struggled as the smaller one whispered in his ear hurriedly. His expression changed a little, from fierce and feral to simply agonized, like he was being tortured. Though all my instincts were on full danger-mode, something about his pain struck my heart. I didn't want him to be in pain. I wanted to other boys to stop whatever they were doing that was hurting him.

After what seemed like an eternity, his brother shoved him, and the eye contact was broken. I fell back into Mike, who immediately pulled me away from the door towards the food line, hands resting protectively on my shoulders. Something about being under five feet made people think I was going to break if something bad happened. I turned and watched the three boys go, the blonde one staring back at me with his expression full of torture and regret. The girls followed quickly.

And then they were gone, and the spell was broken. People turned back to each other, conversations starting up in excited whispers. I tried to walk normally through the lunch line and ignore the eyes staring at me from all directions, when all I wanted was to hide in my raincoat and never come out.

Mike was still being very considerate. Instead of bringing me over to his table of curious friends, he shot them a look of warning and walked over to an empty table instead. He let me sit and pick at the crusts of my sandwich for a minute before asking, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." My shakey voice betrayed my real feelings. "Just—just a little weirded out. Is that sort of thing normal for Forks?" I said, trying to lighten the situation.

"No." I could tell he wasn't really sure what to say next. I decided to ask the more answerable question out of the ones that I was thinking. "Who are they?"

He relaxed a little bit at this easy question. "The shorter girl is Bella Swan." He said her name a little wistfully, and I got the idea that he had a crush on her. Nobody could blame him. "The big one and the one with the reddish brown hair are Emmett and Edward Cullen. The blondes are Rosalie and Jasper Hale." Mike hesitated while I let that sink in. Jasper Hale. That was his name. It was a strange one, but somehow, it fit. Putting a name to the face suddenly made him so much more real to my mind.

"Emmett and the Hales—they're twins—are sophomores, and Edward and Bella are freshmen." I recalled their faces. None of them really looked 14 or 15. The sophomores looked like they could be in college.

Mike continued. "They're all adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife."

"Wow," I said. "All five of them? That's amazing."

"Yeah. I think the Hales are related to the doctor, though. His sister's kids, I think my mom said. And Bella is Mrs. Cullen's goddaughter or something."

"And they still adopted the other two?"

"Oh, I think they came first, but I don't know. They only just moved here this summer. There're all these rumors that they're, like, _together, _Emmett and Rosalie, and Edward and Bella."

So they were newcomers, like me, and weird ones at that, surrounded by scandal. "Weird," I said.

"Yeah," agreed Mike, eyeing their now-empty table. "Something about them…it's off. There's…something else going on there." He looked sheepish. "I bet you think I sound all paranoid or something."

I thought about Jasper Hale's eyes, and the tortured look on his face as he walked away. "No," I said. "You're right."

* * *

A/N: So, what do you think? No flames, please. If what you have to say isn't constructive/nice, go comment on a YouTube video. Also, since this story is FINISHED, please refrain from making suggestions. It probably won't change anything, and I'll feel sad. Don't make me sad. REVIEW! :D

Lena

P.S. Updates will probably come once a week, depending on my mood/crazy teenage schedule.


	2. Prologue: Part II

Prologue, Part II

It was a bad day, to say the least.

It had been too long since I last hunted. Going into school today was a mistake. Every human that walked by was torture on my willpower. School in general was a mistake. Couldn't I just act my age of twenty years?

"Do you think I like pretending to be fourteen?" muttered Edward too quietly for anyone else to hear. But he didn't like what he saw in my thoughts. The constant battle to stay in my seat, and not walk over to the lunch line, stand just a little to close to the boy at the end—

Edward kicked me under the table. "Stop," he whispered. "You can do it. Only a few more hours."

For almost a hundred years, humans had been like walking food sources to me. Carlisle encouraged me to think of them as real people: with thoughts, feelings, and lives, but on days like today, all I wanted…

"Stop it. Get a grip," Edward said, interrupting me. Like my own little shock therapist.

"Ha, ha. Do you need to leave?"

_Yes. After lunch. And hunt. _He nodded.

What I really wanted was to go hunting and not come back. I liked my adopted family immensely, but sometimes I just didn't understand why they did it. I never thought that leaving my old life behind would be this difficult. My motives were important at the beginning, but it had been so long. Was my hunting experience really as bad as I remembered it? Was it worth trying to live normally again? To be free of moral codes…

"Do I need to remind you of what you were?" hissed Edward. "You practically begged to be saved." I sighed and shook my head, trying to clear it.

Edward was really the reason I stuck with all of this: resisting, going to school, acting like less like the creature I was and more like the human I used to be. He was a true friend—a true brother. He knew everything I was thinking, yet even when it was cruel, or vulgar, or depressed, he didn't judge me for it. He knew that deep down, I didn't want to be a monster, and for that part of me, he did everything he could to help. I didn't want to disappoint him by abandoning this life because it was too hard.

Still, no reason to take unnecessary risks. _Can we go now? Please?_ Edward nodded, and we got up as a very small girl walked into the cafeteria.

Her scent hit me like a steam engine, running down my throat and immersing me in the fires of hell. Before my mind could inform my nerves that ripping her throat out in the middle of the cafeteria was a bad idea, my body was already preparing to spring. If it weren't for Emmett's extraordinary strength, the girl would have been dead seconds ago. My eyes locked with hers, and I could see her fear as well as sense it. The other students were also afraid, but they were exhilarated, too. They didn't know how close they were to witnessing the death of an innocent girl. The boy next to her seemed to be the only other human in the room who was scared for her.

Edward leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Her name is Mary Alice Brandon, but she likes to go by Alice. Her mother died a few weeks ago. She came here to live with the Newtons, her mother's family. She sometimes sees the future, and she saw her mother's death before it happened. She saw you, too."

The beast within me retreated slightly, and I stopped struggling. The ferocity was waning, but the hunger remained. I wanted so badly to taste her. I'd never wanted anyone so much. More than that; I _needed _to taste her. My throat was in agony. Relief was a concept that I couldn't imagine anymore.

But somehow, impossibly, it seemed, Emmett was stronger than my thirst. He shoved me, breaking the contact. The girl's cousin hurried her away, and the path to the door cleared. Emmett practically threw me outside.

As we left, I realized that the girl was feeling something more than fear: pity. No, not pity…but some sort of sadness. I couldn't exactly place it. Edward was able to fill in the gap.

"She's concerned that you're in pain," he said, too quietly for anyone else to hear. "She doesn't want you to hurt."

I turned back to look at her for a moment. She was staring back, sorrow in her eyes. And then she was gone.

Carlisle was already home when we arrived. Edward had explained to him over the phone what happened. Esme embraced me as soon as we walked through the door. "I'm so proud of you," she said.

"Be proud of Emmett and Edward," I said. I wasn't going to pretend that Mary Alice Brandon's continued existence had anything to do with me. I closed my eyes, hoping that I appeared disturbed, but Edward obviously knew the truth: disappointment. Like having the most amazing delicacy in the world set on your plate, then being dragged away from it.

"It only makes it harder if you think like that," he said.

_Was it like this for you? With Bella?_

"No," he replied. "It was much, much worse. Alice is not _la tua cantante_. She just smells very, very good."

Rosalie was fuming. Her emotions were nearly to the breaking point. She would explode if I didn't stop her, but I decided not to interfere. I wanted to see what she'd have to say.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" muttered Edward.

_I wouldn't mind a fight today._

He shook his head.

"At least you didn't kill her," said Bella.

Edward nodded. "Bella's right. It might've been worse. You might have _actually_ ripped her throat out and drank her blood in front of the entire Forks student body."

"Thank you."

He smirked. "That's my job."

I turned to Carlisle. "I'm—"

"Don't say you're sorry," he said. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You refrained from killing an innocent girl."

Rosalie hit her boiling point. "He has _nothing_ to be _sorry_ for? Are you _mad_? He's endangered all of us! Even a human could tell that he had every intention of killing her. There's no way we can stay. We just got here, and the weather is so nice, and now we'll have to leave because Major Instincts here can't keep a handle on himself! If you were the Confederacy's most promising officer, it's no wonder they lost the war! I wish Edward had never found you! You've been nothing but trouble since you joined us! If you're so against this way of life, why don't you just abandon it and let the rest of us have some peace?" She snarled and ran outside. Emmett shot me an apologetic look and went after her.

"Well…That was enlightening," said Carlisle.

"She's right," I said. "I don't see how we can stay. I know I can't. Being in the same town as her…I can't trust myself." There. I was aware of my limitations. Too bad it was too late.

"It's not too late," said Edward. "She's still alive."

"We could pretend that it never happened. Teenagers will forget about it after a few weeks," said Bella. I had a feeling that she was remembering her own experience. "We'll be completely detached from them anyway. It won't be long until the Cullens are just part of the background."

"I can't be in the same school with her," I said. "Let alone the town."

"Couldn't you just like, leave?" asked Emmett.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Did…did Emmett just have a good idea?" asked Bella.

"Hey, it happens!" he said defensively.

"I would actually like that a lot," I said. Only Edward knew how I really felt about the human charade. To give it up would be heaven. "I could just go back to Denali. Tanya wouldn't mind." Irina wouldn't either, come to think of it. Maybe I would enjoy my self-imposed exile more than I thought…

Edward rolled his eyes.

"It that's what you want to do, give her a call," Carlisle said.

"When will you come back?" asked Esme. She hated having anyone missing, even me, the often aloof and depressed member of the family.

"Soon," I said. Really, I had no idea. It probably would not be very soon, though. Edward was staring at me, but I ignored him and dialed the number that I prayed would give me salvation.

*

I was a little apprehensive to go back to school on Tuesday. Part of me was afraid that Jasper Hale was going to leap out at me from behind a building. I braced myself as I walked into the cafeteria. My eyes went right to _their_ table, and saw only four people sitting at it. He wasn't there. I let out the air that I just realized I had been holding. One of them—Edward, or was it Edwin?—turned to look at me. I purposefully turned away, not meeting his gaze. I sat at Mike's lunch table, talking normally and actually enjoying myself. I realized that I hadn't felt this way in a month. Maybe Forks wouldn't be so bad after all.

I was able to get through the rest of the week fairly easily. I didn't have classes with any of the Cullen kids. It became easier and easier to ignore them. By Friday, I looked at their table briefly when I walked in, then didn't think about it (much) for the rest of the period. It was progress.

Aunt Karen helped me paint my room a delicate pink. She bought me a new set of sheets in the same color and a new comforter in a darker shade. We picked up a dark pink butterfly chair, a new mahogany desk, and a pink swivel chair to go with it. The lamps and curtains were the same dark pink that I was using as an accent color. I had to admit, the place was starting to feel like it was mine.

That Saturday, we all went up to La Push, the Quileute Indian reservation, to see some friends of the Newtons and introduce me. The door to the small red house was opened by a young boy of twelve or thirteen. He had russet skin and shiny black hair. He still towered over me by quite a few inches. "Hi, Jacob," said Aunt Karen.

"Hi," he said. "Come on in." He looked at me curiously, then led us down a narrow hallway into the kitchen. There was an older Indian man in a wheelchair. He wheeled over the greet us. "Hey, Pete, hey, Karen." He turned to the boy. "Jacob, go get your sisters." Jacob ran off.

"Hello, Billy," said Aunt Karen, leaning over to kiss his cheek. Uncle Pete clapped him on the back.

"Mike, how's high school treating you?" asked Billy.

He shrugged. "Pretty good."

Aunt Karen pulled me forward. "Billy, this is my niece, Alice Brandon. Alice, this is Billy Black."

"Nice to meet you," I said quietly, shaking his hand.

"Likewise," he said. "You're from Philadelphia, yes?"

"Yeah. Yes."

"How do you like Forks so far?" he asked.

"It's wet," I said, and he laughed. "That it is, that it is." There were hurried steps on the stairs. "Here come my girls," he said.

Jacob returned, followed by two beautiful, russet-skinned girls who must have been twins. They were very similar in their lovely faces and figures, but that was pretty much it. One had her long dark hair pulled back in a neat ponytail and was wearing jeans and a plain T-shirt. The other's ponytail was short, and the pieces of hair falling out of it were all different lengths. She wore a ripped tie-dye shirt and cut-off jeans.

"Hi Karen, hi, Pete, hi, Mike," said the neater one. "You must be Alice," she said to me, and stuck out her hand. "I'm Rachel, and this is Rebecca." I shook hands with both of them.

"You're a freshman like Mike, right?" asked Rebecca.

"Yeah," I said.

"Cool. Me and Rache are both seniors. Jake's just a widdle seventh gwader." He scowled.

"I'm not little," he muttered.

While Billy cooked dinner and talk to the other adults, the twins and I sat on the back porch and watched Mike play around with Jacob, who obviously idolized him.

I really liked the twins. They were different. Rachel was a lot more studious and responsible. Rebecca was sort of a surfer hippie girl. She was smart too, but school wasn't as high on her list of priorities as it was on Rachel's. She was really into her Samoan surfer boyfriend.

"Sometimes I wish I could just run away with him," she said, her voice full of yearning. "Do what I want with my life, and be free."

Rachel laughed. "And what will I do if you elope with him, hmm? You can't just abandon me with Dad and Jake!"

"What about your mom?" I asked without thinking. I of all people should've known that sometimes the subject of mothers isn't an easy one.

"She died a few years ago," said Rachel.

"Oh," I said. Wow. That was tactless. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know." I was tempted to add that my mom died a few weeks ago, but I didn't want to bring it up. Maybe they already knew. Luckily, Billy called us in for dinner.

Dinner was great until Jacob, in response to Aunt Karen gushing about the great deals she got on my bedroom stuff, asked, "Wait, you're, like, living here? Like, permanently?"

The table fell silent. I was sure Billy knew my situation, but he obviously hadn't told his children.

"Yes, Jacob," said Aunt Karen. "Alice is going live with us for the next couple years, at least until she goes to college."

"Why?"

The adults exchanged uneasy looks. They obviously didn't want to say it in front of me. Well, I wasn't going to say it, and I wasn't going to deny them the chance to explain. Tears of grief and frustration collected in my eyes. I jumped up. "I think I need some air," I said quickly, and ran from the room.

I barrelled through the front door and into the downpour before I realized it was raining. I stood there, getting colder by the second, sobs shaking my shoulders. It was too much—Weird visions, Mom's death, Dad, Jasper Hale. Why couldn't I have a normal life, with a regular family and friends? I let the rain wash over me, not caring about the cold, hoping that maybe it would wash away everything I didn't want to be. Maybe I could close my eyes and open them to Mom and Dad and Cynthia and be in Philly. I screwed them up tight, wishing to be home. When I opened them, there was someone standing next to me, but it was Jacob, hold an umbrella and my raincoat. I pulled it on, even thought it was kind of pointless by now, and stepped closer to him, under the umbrella. I hoped my tears looked like rain and my shaking looked like it was from the cold.

"I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry," said Jacob. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have said anything. I just thought you were visiting or something. My mom died a few years ago, too."

"I heard," I said.

"What happened to your dad?" he asked.

"He couldn't handle raising me and my sister, so I came here and she stayed with him," I said, the rehearsed lie slipping too easily through my chattering teeth.

Jacob snorted. "Are you kidding? My dad had me and my sisters to take care of. And trust me, they are not the angels that I am." He smiled. "Oops. No offense or anything."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "Your dad's probably a better dad than mine."

We stood in silence for a moment

"So…got any coping advice?" I asked, partially joking but partially serious.

"I guess…I don't know. There's nothing else like it, is there? You keep expecting to see her, but then you realize that she's not there, and she's not coming back. Sometimes I think about her, and I get really depressed, but then I really remember her, and I realize that she wouldn't want her death to get in the way of our lives…I guess that's how we all got through it."

Wow. Pretty deep for a twelve-year-old. I thought about it. Mom's death had left me in a sort of depressed fog. I'd refused to come out of it, choosing to linger on everything in my life that was going wrong. She wouldn't want that for me. She was a happy, optimistic person, a lot like how I usually was. She would want me to get on with my life. So I would. I knew it would take a little while, but the healing would happen. If it didn't, I would fade away completely, which was no longer an option. No matter what, I was going to be okay.

I stood in the rain with Jacob, and the healing process began.


	3. Chapter 1

**2 Years Later**

_Somewhere in the Denali area, Alaska_

I proceeded quietly, my eyes locked on the wolf in front of me. He might have been a noble creature, but to me, he was just a container for the fluid I craved. I coiled, preparing to spring.

The wind changed direction. A new scent washed over me, pure, delicious…there was a hiker. A man, all alone, lost in the woods. In a split second, I was up, the wolf forgotten. As I drew closer, the new scent strengthened. A few hundred yards more. I could sense his confusion behind my own exhilaration. His pumping vessels were like music to my ears, the sweet liquid within them nectar to my burning throat—

Something slammed into me from the right, knocking me off course into a stream with a sound like a thundercrack. I tried to fight back, but my agressor had me pinned.

"Have you given up?" he growled. "Is this it? Are you going to abandon all the progress you've made?"

The scent was fading. The man had heard our clash and was running fairly quickly in the other direction. My awareness slowly returned, and I realized that Edward was sitting on top of me. But part of my mind still followed the hiker, wondering how long Edward would keep me here…

He punched me. It did no damage, of course, but it focused more of my attention on him. "Tanya warned me that you were having trouble, but this…Jasper, do you have any idea how close you were to breaking your fast? It's harder to go back afterwards. Trust me."

_I know. It's just…_

"You're losing your focus. You don't know why you should bother anymore."

_I want to try. I don't want to be a monster again. But away from from you and Carlisle…it's different. It's easier to let go. To give in._

"That's it," said Edward. "You're coming home. Now."

I was so surprised I spoke out loud. "What? No!" The tiny girl…Mary Alice Brandon. She wasn't gone yet. I would kill her next time. I knew it.

"If I could resist Bella, you can resist Alice."

_You have more experience than I do._

"Not at that point, I didn't," he said. "It hadn't been that long since my teenage rebellion years. I'd been a vampire for less than two decades. Actually, I probably had _less_ resistance than you."

_That doesn't mean that I can do it. You've always been stronger than me_.

"In terms of this, maybe you're right. But if you give yourself a good enough reason, you will be strong enough."

I doubted it.

He scowled at me. "We'd better hurry back. The new school year starts in less than twenty-four hours." He smiled crookedly. "Race you back to Tanya's?"

_Fine. But could you please get off of me first?_

He laughed loudly and was off.

"Cheater," I muttered, and followed after him.

_Forks, Washington_

"Mike!" I shouted up the stairs. "Hurry up! We're gonna be late!"

"Hold on a second! I'm almost done!" he yelled back from the bathroom. He took more time doing his hair than I did. Then again, his hair was longer than mine. Sometimes, times like these, in fact, I was tempted to squash all of his perfectly gelled spikes. But then he'd probably just have to redo them and we'd be even later.

"_Finally_," I moaned as he jumped down the last two stairs and into the front hall.

"Just get in the car," he said. I followed him out to the Suburban, muttering about divas.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting my hair to look good," he said as he started the car.

"Sure, if it's Tyler Crowley you're trying to impress. Anything you've been meaning to tell me, cuz?"

"_Normal_ girls like it when guys look neat. Anything you want to tell me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be stupid. Besides, say you do get a girl: what is making out going to do to your hair?"

He was silent for a moment, pondering the wonderfully impossible idea of a girl wanting to make out with him. "If that's the situation, I don't really think I'd mind much."

"Got your eye on anyone in particular? Other than Bella Swan." Mike blushed. He'd had had a crush on her for two years, but he was too scared to approach her. Scared of Edward Cullen, that is. The brave few who had approached any of the Cullens tended to have accidents. An embarassing secret leaked, a goofy trip in gym…It hadn't taken long for the students at Forks High to give the Cullens a wide berth.

"Like I'd tell you, Little Miss Gossip Queen."

"I don't spread gossip, I just like to know it!"

"You always seem to know about stuff before it happens, though."

"Female intuition," I joked, but it was true. In addition to prophetic dreams, I developed a knack for knowing when people were going to get together, break up, or make up. I just got these feelings about certain things, and then all of a sudden they were happening.

Thinking about my "visions," I remembered what I had dreamed about last night. It was amazing I had forgotten it at all. Something must have shown on my face, because Mike asked, "What's wrong? See something bad in my future? Does Jessica Stanley like me, or something?"

"D'you think Jasper Hale might be coming back this year from Alaska?" I asked quietly. The official story was that Jasper had trouble adjusting to Forks, and returned to their old home in Alaska, where they had family who could take him.

"What? Why? Come on, Al. What are the chances? Why would he come back for senior year? He's probably got friends in Alaska now. Even if he did come back, he's not going to bother you." There was an edge of very un-Mike-like menace in his voice that would have been comical in another situation. Mike was the only one who still cared about what happened on my first day of school.

But his return was exactly what my dream last night seemed to foretell. Jasper was there, his face floating in front of my eyes. The only difference was that his eyes were a light butterscotch, instead of coal black.

Mike parked, and we walked quickly to English, the only class we had together this year other than gym. Luckily, my best girl friend Samantha was in the rest of my classes. We'd become really close once I'd worked up the courage to talk to someone outside of Mike's crew, which she was now sort of in.

We made it to English just before the late bell rang. It only took a moment to see that among the pairs of desks, there were only two seats open: one next to Tyler, who waved eagerly at Mike, and one next to Edward Cullen. I immediately headed for Cullen where he sat in the back; I liked Tyler, but he was ridiculously annoying. I'd rather sit next to a snob for a period than him. At least Cullen was goodlooking. I'd just hijack the car tomorrow and get here on time, Mike or no Mike.

Mr. Lane stood up. "Welcome to English 11. Do you like your seats?" There was an incoherent murmer from the class.

Uh-oh.

"Good," said Mr. Lane, "because they aren't changing until June, when you walk out that door and never darken it again."

Shit. So there I was, stuck sitting next to Edward Cullen for the next ten months. Whatever. He probably wouldn't even deign to speak to me.

"Hi," he said. I thought stupidly for a second that he was trying to prove me wrong.

"Hi," I said automatically. I wasn't sure what the standard was for talking to the extremely sexy anti-social adopted brother of a kid who had mysteriously disappeared after growling at me for no apparent reason.

As I thought this, he smiled and laughed very quietly. "Something funny?" I asked without thinking. It came out with a lot of attitude. I was sort of nervous, sitting next to him (did I mention how hot he was?), and that made me defensive.

"Just a funny thought," he said, and smiled even wider.

Now I was starting to get ticked. Forks was lucky that the Cullens were anti-social. He was pretty annoying. "What is your problem?"

"Problem?" he said innocently. "What do you mean?"

"You…I was just…and you…" What I wanted to say was, _You think my thoughts are funny, and that's pretty annoying_, but when it tried to come out of my mouth, my tongue realized how stupid it sounded and decided to block out the embarrassing parts. Thank God I could censor _something_ in this conversation... "Never mind," I said. Two minutes in, and I was already prepared to never speak to him again.

"I'm sorry, am I annoying you?" he asked.

"Stop doing that!" Too loud. Lee and Eric, in the seats in front of us, turned and looked. Mr. Lane hadn't noticed, though.

"What?" asked Cullen.

"You're…it's like you know what I'm thinking!" There. I said it. And it didn't really sound crazy or stupid. It's not like I had outrightly accused him of mind-reading.

He shrugged. "I'm just very good at reading people. Most people, anyway," he said, almost to himself, and smiled. Was he on happy pills or something? He grinned again.

"Okay, fine. Whatever." I didn't really care anyway. If we could just get through the school year without interacting more than necessary, I'd be fine. It's not like English is a very partner-interactive subject anyway.

"Look, I'm really sorry if I'm bugging you," he said. God, couldn't this guy just take a _hint_? Maybe he was just too used to girls falling all over him. For good reason.

"It's _fine_," I insisted.

"Are you sure?" he asked with concern. "I mean, I really don't want this to be a struggle for either of us. And I feel bad about…well, you know what I mean."

I knew what he meant. What I didn't know is why he would bring it up.

"The past is the past." Even the weird, freaky past. I turned away from him and listened to Mr. Lane go over the class syllabus. I hated the first day of school spiel. It was always the same thing: classroom rules, syllabus, expectations. Nothing new. I began to zone out. I really should have slept more last night…

_The cafeteria floor covered in blood… My dad, crying…a smooth coffin being lowered into a grave… _

"Alice!" hissed Edward.

"What?" I said groggily. The class was staring at me. Mr. Lane glared down at me. "Please read bullet number three under 'Grading System,' please," he said. I looked down quickly and muttered the two sentences about class participation. Oh, irony. Mr. Lane gave me another glare, then moved on to another lethargic victim.

Edward Cullen was staring at me in shock and horror. Could he have seen it? No, that was silly. Mind reading? Come on!

_But you see the future. Why not a mind-reader?_

I shook my head a little, trying futilely to dislodge the thought. That wasn't the furture. It couldn't be. Because all of those scenes seemed to revolve around one thing, and I couldn't bear to think about it.

Cullen interrupted Katie, Mr. Lane's latest reader, midsentence. "May I be excused?" he asked.

"Take the pass," said Mr. Lane.

He didn't come back, and I was more than a little relieved. When the class let out, I practically ran to the door. I met up with Samantha outside Spanish, our next class. "Hey Sam! How was your first class of junior year?"

"I hate gym."

"So what else is new?"

The morning passed normally. Sam and I were groaning on our way to lunch from Biology. "Figures we'd have it right before we eat," she said.

"Maybe we'll both lose some weight this year!" I said. Not that either of us really needed it.

As we approached the cafeteria, my vision—no, dream, it was just a dream—came back to me. I began to feel apprehension building in the pit of my stomach.

I stepped into line with Sam, focusing on what food I was going to buy. My stomach was still turning (though not from Biology), so I just bought an apple and a water. I slid into a seat next to Mike, and Sam sat across from us. She immediately launched into a rant with Katie about how much she missed summer.

"Al? Are you okay?" asked Mike quietly.

"What? Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I said.

"You look kind of sick."

"I'm fine." I bit into the apple.

"I think you must have ESP or something," he said. "I saw Jasper Hale this morning."

ESP. Seeing the future. I half expected to turn around and see blood on the white tile behind me.

Mike continued. "I think he was leaving, though. He was walking to the parking lot with Edward Cullen. Guess he still hates Forks."

I turned my head slowly towards the table I hadn't even glanced at in almost two years. There were three people sitting at it. Bella Swan made eye contact, but I looked away immediately.

My friends were all staring at me, and I realized how spastic my outburst was. "I'm going outside," I said. "I don't feel like being in here right now." Mike and Sam got up with me. "I kind of want to be alone, okay?" I left the cafeteria. I still couldn't stop seeing the blood…

I walked over to the picnic tables near the parking lot. It was only drizzling. With a little less than an hour left of lunch, I pulled out the book I was currently reading. It was a thick romance, full of glamour and intrigue. Usually it would have distracted me easily, but I couldn't focus. I couldn't stop remembering. The father I hadn't seen in years, crying. The grave. My grave?

I closed my eyes, hoping to see only black behind my eyelids. The memories still lingered. I pulled out my iPod. Maybe music would help me. I sat with my head down on the table, eyes closed, and let the screaming guitar block out the world.


	4. Chapter 2

Shorter chapter, but very important.

* * *

Chapter 2

High school. My absence had done nothing to relieve the paradoxical mixture of boredom and agonizing restraint. Being away from humans had only reduced my resistence. My first period Calculus class was the worst thing I had endured in two years. Emmett's presence next to me was comforting; while he was there, no humans would die.

Edward had tried to get me to think positively that morning. "Give yourself a reason," he had said, "any reason, to not hurt them. I don't really care what it is. Use the 'humans are people, too,' or," he smirked, "think of Rosalie's fury if you mess up again. That would be enough to frighten me into submission."

Thinking of Rosalie only made me laugh quietly. Not a great deterrant. I had already tried just "thinking of them as people," and I knew it wouldn't work. If I didn't find a good reason to resist, what was the point?

I thought of giving up. Not here, of course. I wouldn't massacre this classroom. But I would leave. I would head east, lose myself in the hunt. No one could say I hadn't tried.

_Good,_ said a voice inside of me. _That's right. You tried your best. Who are you to fight nature? Some things cannot be defeated. Why fight against the unbeatable when you could fight for it? Better to ally yourself with the thirst than resist. _

I knew who this logical, tactical voice was. It came from a part of my mind I had smothered and hidden for half a century.

Jasper Whitlock was the vicious, cruel, bloodthirsty creature who had survived endless wars. When Peter returned for me, Whitlock had been weakened mentally. He was willing to trust a loyal friend and try something new. The moment he left the battlefield, some small, unnamed part of me gained some control. This was the part of me that, when every emotion felt by my prey was felt, suffered and pleaded for relief. It was this part of me that followed Edward home. It was this part that was christened Jasper Hale.

In the years following his defeat, Whitlock had hidden inside me, battling for control. He did not see humans as people, and I accepted now that nothing would ever change his mind. He did not care about Rosalie or exposure. He wanted to be free. I understood now that during my interlude in Alaska, he had returned, swiftly, silently, and I hadn't even noticed it. He was actively undermining my willpower. But he was right. Why battle what cannot be defeated? What would come of the fruitless fight? I was tired of fighting. I had left the south to escape war, not enter another.

But another voice was fighting to be heard over Whitlock's bloodthirsty din. _You're not weak. Are you going to let _humans_ defeat you where so many stronger opponents failed? You know well that no one can win every battle. Take your defeats in stride; use them to learn. Every failure brings you closer to success. _

Hale and Whitlock. Two sides of the same person. I thought of my first war; the war to begin all wars. Which part of me was the Union, and which the Confederacy? Would one annihilate the other, or would they eventually meld together again? Would the battle ever end and my reconstruction begin?

I looked up at the clock. Only a half hour in. Halfway through the period, but not even a fraction of the day. My continuing lament was interrupted by a wave of panic coming down the hallway. A split second later, a note appeared on my desk.

_Come outside. Now. _

It was Edward's handwriting. Intriqued, I pocketed the paper and excused myself to the bathroom. He waited for me behind the building.

"Alice Brandon had a vision," he said. "A vision of you massacring her."

"What?"

"She fell asleep in class. Her dream was extraordinarily clear: images of the cafeteria, covered in blood, a coffin, and her distraught father. It doesn't take an idiot to figure out what will happen next time you see her."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Couldn't it be a coincidence?"

"Yeah, because someone else in this school is likely to kill her today," he said. "We're leaving. We need to talk to Carlisle."

The Newton boy passed us on our way to the parking lot, where he had been retrieving some forgotten necessity. Astonishment flowed from him, and Edward growled. "Alice dreamed about you last night; she knew you would be here. I wonder why she's so attuned to you."

We drove to the hospital, and waited for Carlisle in his office. He was finishing his rounds, and would be with us in a moment. Sure enough, a short time later, our adoptive father came in and shut the door. He didn't sit behind his desk; he instead pulled up a third chair and sat next to me. "Did something happen?" he asked.

"No," said Edward, "but it would have." He told Carlisle about the Brandon child's visions.

"Interesting," said Carlisle, "but, more than anything, helpful. We will never know whether what she saw was a random nightmare or a true glimpse of the future, but we do know that you have, again, refrained from killing her."

I put my head in my hands. "Third time's the charm."

"I heard your inner monologue today, you know," said Edward. He explained it to Carlisle.

"I don't know what to tell you, exactly," said Carlisle, "except that the part of you that emerged when you left the south is correct. You _can_ do this. There isn't a true method that any of us can teach you." We sat for a moment in silence. Finally, Carlisle said, "I think you should try to get used to it."

"What?"

"I would suggest two actions: put yourself around her as much as possible, within reason, to acclimate yourself to her. If you can defeat her scent, you can defeat the temptation from all others around you."

I shook my head in disbelief, but did not interrupt.

"My other idea is for you to get to know her in the process of immunizing yourself to her. The more you understand about her, possibly the more you like her, the less you will want to feed on her." He smiled. "For now, I would suggest going somewhere heavily populated. Practice resisting. Don't hurt yourself, but don't be negative. Tomorrow, approach her. Talk to her."

Don't kill her.

*

The next day, I still didn't feel comfortable sitting in the cafeteria. I left Sam at the door and walked over to the picnic benches again. It was dry, for once. I pulled out my book and a yogurt. Before long, I was absorbed into the story. I didn't even hear when someone sat down across the table from me.

"Hi."

I jumped and looked up into light amber eyes. My breath caught in my throat. His face was so perfect up close, not contorted by rage. My visions didn't do him justice at all. I noticed that he didn't look much different from two years ago. Weird. The rest of his family was on one of the tables nearby. Ready to jump in if he attacked?

I finally managed to say, "Hi."

He breathed in deeply, and his features were contorted in pain for the briefest of moments before he contained himself. I tried not to look at his face. I concentrated on the wooden table, studying the grain. I could think of nothing to say to him. Obviously he was having the same problem, though I couldn't imagine why.

"What are you reading?" he asked quickly, almost blurting it out.

I blushed. It wasn't the kind of book you wanted to be reading when the most attractive person you've ever seen asks you. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Can I see it?" he asked.

I grimaced, but I marked my page and handed it over. He read the back, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "It certainly sounds interesting," he said. "A vampire romance. Wouldn't that be difficult?"

"Um, well, that's part of the story. But I don't usually read stuff like that." Unless you counted the ten other books by the same author that lined my shelf.

He gave it back. "I'm not much of a reader myself," he said. "Can't just sit there and do nothing."

"It's not doing nothing," I said sharply. I mentally kicked myself. "I mean, it's not like you're just staring off into space."

The wind blew, and I instinctively folded my arms. He stiffened. "It was nice talking to you," he said, and got up. He walked quickly towards his family. Edward Cullen patted him on the back. Dammit. Had I offended him?

I tried to get back into my book, but I couldn't concentrate. In the end, I put it away and went to my history class early, trying not think about Jasper.

* * *

See? Short but significant. Please review. Reviews make me happy. Happy people write better. It's a fact. Look it up.


	5. Chapter 3

Sorry for the 20-day wait between updates. Anyone who is or has ever been in school knows what I'm going through. Because of my ridiculous schedule at the moment, earliest update will be in about two weeks. I apologize for anyone following this story.

Memory Refresher: Hit the chapter back button and read the last paragraph of Chapter 2.

* * *

Every day, Mike and I had to work after school at the family store. I absolutely loathed the neon orange vest, but it was worth it to ogle the cute hikers that came through. That day, none of them seemed as attractive as they might have.

We helped Aunt Karen close up the store a few hours later and drove home. I ran upstairs to throw my stuff down before dinner. I was stopped by the envelope on my pillow. When I looked at the return address, my heart skipped a beat.

The address was mine until a few years ago.

Dad sent child support checks in the mail. He still deposited money into my college fund. He just didn't want to see me, and the feeling was mutual. I hadn't had any other contact from him or Cynthia. I had never been particularly close with my sister, and Mom's death had put a rift in the family that I thought would never be healed.

My fingers trembled as I opened the envelope. There was not a letter inside, but a card.

_Save the date!_

_May 21, 2006_

_For the wedding of _

_John Thorton Brandon_

_and_

_Sally Marie Thompson _

There was a hand-written piece of paper stuck behind it.

_Dear Alice,_

_Dad, Sally, and I would love for you to come to the wedding next year. Sally's great, and she and Dad really love each other. We would love to see you, and Sally really wants to meet you! She even wants you to be a bridesmaid! Please call us and tell us if you can come! _

_Cynthia_

Behind that was a picture of the three of them. Dad looked the same, except that his arm was wrapped around the waist of a pretty blonde woman. Cynthia was eleven, now, I remembered. She'd changed in the two years since I'd last seen her. Her face had lost it's baby fat, and I could see that she was going to be pretty. Her long black hair fell straight on either side of her face. They were the perfect family.

But was there room for me in that family? Cynthia's note wasn't a heartfelt connection. It was formal, and forced. A letter written by a pre-teen because her father made her. It hadn't said, "We miss you and would love for you to come back and live with us." Dad didn't want me. Cynthia didn't feel like she knew me. And this Sally Marie Thompson had never even laid eyes on me. She probably ate up the official reason that I left. Maybe she was under some impression that I could come back, but I knew that it wouldn't happen.

Aunt Karen came up then. "Alice?" she said. "Are you okay? Pete just told me about the letter and I wasn't sure…"

"He's getting married," I said. I collapsed on my bed as the tears began to flow. I choked out the words. "He's getting _re_married. They want me to come. To be a bridesmaid." I sobbed harder. "I don't—even—know this woman! He—I—" The words dissolved. Aunt Karen sat down and put her arms around me, cradling me to her chest.

"Shh," she said. "Look on the bright side. Maybe he wants to try again."

At the suggestion, I sat up and handed her the letter. She read through it. "It doesn't mention—me staying," I said, trying to get a handle on myself. "And I don't want—to go back. I don't even know if I want to—to go to the wedding."

"I think you should," she said. "He's still your father. And considering the last time you saw him…a happy occasion might be a good time to patch things up."

"I guess I'll call them when I figure it out," I said.

That night, I had a sort of two part dream. In the first part, I was calling my dad, and I basically relived our last conversation, with words and feelings that had intensified over time.

The second part was the polar opposite. I was in a sunlit garden, walking down an aisle lined by white lawn chairs with ribbons on them. Cynthia was walking in front of me, wearing a lilac dress that was identical to the one I was wearing. We were both carrying small bouquets of white flowers. Dad waited at the altar. He was smiling. I'd forgotten what a beautiful smile he had.

The strange thing about the second part was that Jasper Hale was in it. He was sitting in the back row. I turned around to look at him, and he waved.

When I woke up, everything made sense except him. I decided to cut him out of the equation for now.

I spent the ride to school and my first four classes thinking about the two sitations in front of me. Aunt Karen was right. Better to try and make things better. Didn't they always say that hating someone ate you up inside or something?

After Biology, I left Sam and went back to the picnic benches again. I didn't want to be around all those people right now. What an anti-social week I was having.

Most of the time, I tried not to think about Mom. That was part of my healing. We'd been really close, something that was pretty unusual for girls my age and their moms. When I was little, and I would cry because I thought there was something wrong with me, or that Dad loved me less because of it, she would say, "Dad is only looking out for you. He's afraid that what you see hurts you. He doesn't understand that it only make you a more special person. He's not sure you're okay. But you are okay, Alice. You're perfect." I wondered what she'd say if she saw what had happened since she died. And that was when the tears started to fall.

"Alice?" said a soft, beautiful voice. I looked up through my tears and saw Jasper Hale standing there. "I saw you come over here instead of coming to lunch and I wanted to make sure…that you were okay."

"Why?" I choked. He sat down on the other side of the table and offered up a hankerchief. Weird. I didn't even know they were still around. I took it and wiped my eyes. My hand brushed his, and I was surprised by how cold it was. It felt like stone, or ice. He jerked it back and clenched it, then took a deep breath and relaxed.

"I care about how people feel," he said. "When people around me are sad, I feel sad, too."

Thank God I wasn't a snot crier. I was already starting to feel better. Not happy, but not depressed or sorrowful. I was very calm. I was sad, but I could deal.

There were initials sewn into a corner of the linen square. "JLW. What's that stand for?" I asked.

"Jennifer Lorraine Whitlock. My mother's maiden name."

"You live with the Cullens though," I said. "Not that I'm trying to be nosy or anything," I added, realizing that this was only the second time I'd every actually spoken to him.

"It's fine," he said, and it really was fine. I was feeling better all the time. "She died a long time ago."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be," he said. "I heard you went through something similar a few years ago."

"My mom died in a car crash." It didn't hurt to talk about it as much as it usually did. Actually, it usually hurt to think about it at all. Something was different. "She was just driving home from the store, like it was any day of the week. She was going through an intersection, and somebody ran the red light. Neither of them had any time to react. She died at the scene. He survived a little bit longer in the ICU, but they lost him."

"A freak accident," he said.

"Yeah. And I haven't spoken to my dad since." My hands slapped over my mouth.

"Why not?"

I looked up at him. He face betrayed nothing but genuine concern. "It's weird, but I feel like I can trust you."

"I tend to have that effect on people," he said, smiling warmly.

"Just promise me that you won't think I'm crazy, or weird or anything?"

"I promise."

I took a deep breath. Was I really going to tell an almost-complete stranger my deepest secret? "I've never told anyone this before. I see things. Mostly in dreams, but they come true. They happen. I saw you, before I came here. And again, before you came back. And I saw my mom die before it happened. I warned them, but my dad didn't believe me. He convinced her it was nothing."

"Ah," said Jasper. "I think I understand. I can't say I blame you. So that's why you moved here?"

"Yeah. I just couldn't…I just couldn't stay."

"Was it hard?"

"A little, at first. But _most_ people were pretty friendly."

He didn't miss the emphasis. "I was hoping you'd forgotten."

"You don't forget something like that. What happened? Why did you…?"

"I can't tell you," he said.

"Why not?"

"It's not my secret to tell. Besides, I don't think you'd enjoy the answer."

"Try me."

"It would scare you." He looked straight into my eyes, and I shuddered involuntarily again. He laughed quietly and looked away. "Have you eaten anything?" he asked.

"No. I'm not hungry."

"Me neither. But you should eat something."

"Why?"

"You'll be hungry later."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'll definitely be hungry later. But I usually ignore it." He scowled briefly.

"That's not very healthy," I said.

"It's pretty good for whatever I would have ended up eating."

"Wow. Morbid, much?"

"You'd be surprised."

"You're sort of weird, Jasper." Saying his name sent little chills up and down my spine.

"I know," he said. "I've got to go, but I'll see you around. Go get something to eat." He stood up and walked towards his family. I realized I still had his handkerchief.

"Wait!" I called. "You forgot this!"

"Keep it!" he said. He walked with the others to the parking lot. It wasn't unusual for them to start the weekend early.

Unable to think of anything else to do, I got up and walked towards the cafeteria. My stomach was already growling.

That night, I took the portable phone into my room and dialed the number I'd known by heart since I was three. It rang twice before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Cynthia?" I asked.

"Who's calling, please?" The way Mom always taught us to answer the phone.

"It's Alice."

"Alice? Oh my gosh! Alice!" she squealed in delight. "You got the card? And my note?"

"Yeah. I got it today," I fibbed, making up for my time to think. I was already feeling a little guilty that I'd even considered making this call in anger.

"Are you coming?"

"Yeah, I'm coming."

"Yes!" she cried. "Dad!" she called. "Dad, Sally! Alice is coming to the wedding!"

I decided to tell myself that Sally was just over, and that she wasn't living there yet. I wasn't sure I could handle that. "Dad wants to talk to you," said Cynthia.

"Alice?"

I could barely breath. I hadn't heard that voice in two years. The last time we had spoken…

"Alice? You still there?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm here." The first words I'd said to him since wishing for his death.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. We got engaged about two months ago, but I wasn't really sure how…" he trailed off, searching for the right words.

"It's okay." The first apology was over with. It was the easiest one.

"So, uh, how's Forks?"

"It's great. Aunt Karen and Uncle Pete are amazing. I've got lots of friends."

"That's good. I'm glad you're happy." He sounded genuinely relieved.

I heard a voice in the background. A woman's voice. "Oh, Sally just reminded me. Would you like be a bridesmaid?"

"Yes, Dad. Of course I want to. I'm happy for you."

"Great. That's great. Sally says that she wants you to come down as much as possible next year so that you can be invovled with everything. We'll call you once we get off the ground."

"Yeah, okay. Awesome. I guess I'll see you all then."

"I guess you will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and tried not to have second thoughts. It was too late now.

I sighed and opened my backpack. Might as well try to do my homework. The handkerchief was lying on top of my books. I'd completely forgotten about it. I picked it up and studied it. It was plain linen, with a small scalloped pattern along the edge. JLW was embroidered in faded red thread. The script was a simple, flowing cursive. It looked much older than it was—the oldest it could be was from the 1950's or 60's. Maybe Jasper's mother had been named for someone older, with the same initials?

I wondered what Jasper was doing right now. Was he thinking of me? _Why do you care?_ I scolded myself. _Why would you be on his mind?_

* * *

Hope that will last you! Please review and tell me what you think! Also, while reviews that are just, "PLEASE UPDATE" are appreciated and I take them as compliments, they aren't very productive. If I have the oppurtunity to update, I PROMISE that that's EXACTLY what I'll be doing.


	6. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Skip this note if you're mean and don't want to be apologized to.

Who's a terrible person?

Go on. You can do it. I know you can. It starts with L and ends with EAH.

So I'm really sorry about the wait, to anyone who's been following this story. Between AP exams, research papers, and finals, I've been sort of swamped. But school is over, and I've got two weeks until I leave for vacation, so I'll try to be a better person for the next 14 days.

*Also, **HUGE **thank you to everyone who put me or this story on Alert or Favorites. You kept me motivated, and it means a lot that anybody actually wants to read what I write.

Recap (because I know I always want one when an author does what I've done): Alice's father is getting remarried, and she agrees to be part of the wedding. She and Jasper talk, and she tells him that she sees the future. Oh, and * represents POV change, which happens a few times.

Good? Then let's get this show on the road!

* * *

"Jazz," said Edward, "we need to talk."

"What about?" I asked. He was wary and tense, unusual considering we had just finished with two mountain lions and a bear. Emmett was stalking a particularly irritable grizzly, but Edward and I were a bit less ambitious. Rosalie, Bella, and Esme were having some "female bonding time," and Carlisle prefered to hunt either with Esme or alone.

"Your fixation with Alice Brandon," he said bluntly.

_What fixation? I don't have a fixation._ I opted not to speak.

"You're constantly thinking about her," he said.

_You and Carlisle told me to get to know her. I'm just following your advice. _I tried to avoid thinking the truth: I was enjoying it. Talking to Alice had a whole dimension to it different from an exercise in control.

"I heard that."

Damn.

He fixed me with a serious stare. "Jasper, this is a dangerous game you're playing. I should know."

_But this is different than you and Bella. She doesn't have any murderously jealous—_

"It's nothing to do with that! It's your restraint."

_Do I have to remind you that this was _your _idea? _

"That doesn't mean that you don't have to be careful."

_I am being careful._

"You're getting too attached."

_Wasn't that the point?_

"Maybe Carlisle and I were wrong. Maybe the best way to handle the situation would be to just avoid her. You're not in any of her classes. You could skip lunch. You could make the decision to stay out of her life."

_No!_ My thoughts betrayed me before I could control them. Oddly enough, I was beginning to feel…protective of her. What if I wasn't the only dangerous thing out there?

Edward radiated a mixture of satisfaction and panic at being right, as well as involuntary empathy. "I can't believe this. Trust me: I know what this is like, Jazz. I know what happens when we get involved with humans. It was too late for Bella. It doesn't have to be too late for Alice."

I wondered if he regretted his decision.

"Not in the way you're thinking," he answered. "I don't regret that Bella is one of us. I do regret that she, nor I, never had a choice in the matter. And I often wonder: what if it hadn't ended up the way it did? I can hardly comprehend how lucky we were. All I'm saying is that you should think about your actions. They will have consequences. Serious ones."

_I can take care of myself_.

"I know," he said. "But can you take care of her?"

I said nothing, and squashed the frightening thoughts that were saying no.

*

"Hey Alice," Mike said at dinner, "Jacob called. He wants us to go up to La Push on Saturday. Do you want to?"

"Yeah, totally," I said. Mike and Jacob and I had become really good friends. The kid helped me a lot when I was recovering from losing my mom. He was a good listener, he wasn't awkward when I cried, and he was able to cheer me up at the end of it. We hung out almost every day in the summer, and during the year, we went up to the reservation at least one weekend a month. Jacob was less than two years younger than me, but he was pretty mature, and age never really affected any of us. Recently, I'd had the sneaking suspicion he might have a crush on me, but I wasn't sure. I just ignored it and hoped I was paranoid.

Saturday rolled around, and Mike and I took off around eleven. When we got to the Black house, Jacob waved through the window and bounded out. He was pretty tall, but his face was still boyish. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there was a goofy smile on his face. He jumped into the back of the car.

"Hey, guys!" he said.

"How's high school?" Mike said.

"Not much different from middle school. The teachers suck, the school is disgusting, and the kids are annoying. Except Quil and Embry. But that's just because I'm used to them."

"So pretty good, then?" I said.

"Guess so."

We joked all the way down to the water.

"Oh, hey Jake? Guess who came back to school this year?" Mike said.

"Who?"

"Jasper Hale."

"That weirdo?" he asked. Of course we'd told him all about the "incident."

"Yeah," I said. "But actually, I talked to him a little bit on Thursday when I was upset about the wedding. He's pretty sensitive."

"Wedding?" asked Jacob.

"Oh, yeah." I explained to him the situation with my family.

"Wow," he said. "I don't know what I'd do if my dad remarried. Probably go nuts."

"I did, a little bit."

Mike's brow furrowed. "When did you talk to Hale?"

"At lunch on Thursday. I went over to the picnic tables. He saw me and wanted to make sure everything was okay. Which, at the time, it wasn't, but talking to him helped."

"I still don't trust him," Mike said. "Something about that whole family is off."

I rolled my eyes, and Jacob laughed. "You should hear what the tribal elders think about them!"

"What?" I asked.

"Well, I'm not really supposed to tell you. It's part of the legend…" His voiced dropped into a spooky tone.

"Aw, come on, Jake!"

"Fine," he said. "You know some stuff about Quileute creation myths."

"Yeah," said Mike. "They whole canoes on the forest, weird wolf connection thing." We'd heard the werewolf story before, about how the spirit warriors became wolf warriors. Billy was quite the storyteller.

"Well, here's something you didn't know. There was a reason that the werewolves evolved the way they did. It was to fight their enemy."

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Only one."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"Come on, Jake!" cried Mike.

Jacob grinned, thoroughly enjoying himself. "The wolves' main purpose in Quileute legend is to fight the cold ones."

"The cold ones?" I asked.

His voice took on a tone similar to his father's. "They look like men, but they are not. They are the most beautiful creatures on Earth. Their skin is deathly pale, rock-hard, and freezing cold." Mike and I exchanged glances as we connected the description with our strange classmates. "They are predators, blood drinkers. You would call them vampires."

My mouth fell open. Jacob grinned wider and continued. "For centuries, the wolves defended the tribe, until my great-grandfather's time. A large group of cold ones, larger than any the pack had ever seen before, came into the area. They claimed that they were different, that they did not hunt humans. They proposed a treaty, and the current pack, outnumbered, agreed. They cold ones would not harm humans, nor would they go onto the Quileute lands. In exchange, the Pack would not tell the pale-faces about them." He winked at us. "So technically, I'm breaking a tribal law. But they say that the cold ones left soon after because they broke their pact and killed a girl."

"They killed someone? Like, sucked her blood?" I asked.

Jake shrugged, breaking the mood a little. "I guess so. And it's in the town records, down in Hoquiam. Me and Quil and Embry checked once. This girl disappeared one night, and the last person reported at her house was one of the supposed vampires. The next day, they were gone. Her body was never found."

"So the elders…they think the Cullens are like the cold ones your great-grandfather met?" Mike asked.

"No," said Jacob. "They say they're the _same ones_."

He paused for a moment to let it sink in.

"That's impossible." said Mike.

"Yeah. How could they get back into town if they broke that treaty thing?" I added.

"I don't know, maybe they apologized or something," said Jake. "Pretty wacky, right?. You know what I think the real reason is the elders don't want us telling people the story? They don't want them to think we're a bunch of superstitious natives."

"Really? Cause no one who listened to the story would think that…"

Jacob cuffed Mike on the shoulder, and a second later both were rolling on the sand. By the time they got up and dusted themselves off, I had composed myself. Vampires. Yeah right.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of carefree teenage fun. I pushed Jacob's story to the back of my mind, but every once in a while, the words bubbled to the forefront. The internal battle must have showed, because on the way home, Mike asked, "You didn't take Jake's story seriously, did you?"

"No," I said, "of course not. There's no such thing as vampires."

The first thing I noticed when we arrived at school on the for once sunny Monday morning was the absence of the Cullen car in the parking lot. I tried to ignore the surge of disappointment I felt. So what if they weren't here? Even if I couldn't feel indifferent, couldn't I at least be relieved? According to Jacob, they were bloodsucking monsters. And I'd only spoken to Jasper twice. Hardly enough to miss him when he was gone.

So then why did the empty table send little pangs of sadness shooting through my chest?

The next day was the same: sunny and Cullen-less. At the store, the high hiking season was winding down, and we were pushing sales to sell out this summer's leftovers and make room for the new shipments coming for the winter. It was a slow day anyway, and I'd finished most of my homework sitting at the register, so I agreed to stay late and help with inventory.

"Oh, crap!" said Aunt Karen.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I forgot the hiking boot forms at home! I'll be right back."

"Okay," I said.

A few minutes later, the gum I was chewing began to turn sour. I walked out of storage and into the main store to get a new piece from my bag behind the counter. There was someone standing behind it. Someone holding a gun in one hand and pulling money out of the cash register with the other.

I gasped involuntarily, and he swung around, pointing the gun in my face. "Now don't you go making any moves," he said.

My mind was racing, my body paralyzed with fear. He wasn't wearing a mask, meaning that if he got caught, I could identify him. That wasn't making my chances look good. He probably wasn't from around here, so shooting me wouldn't have a lot of repurcussions, if he could get away. Then again, if he heard Aunt Karen, he would know he only had a few minutes until she came back. If he shot me, he wouldn't get far.

It was a very surreal experience, standing there and weighing my chances of dying.

He kept the gun pointed at me while he emptied the register. Finished, he turned back to me. "All right," he said, leveling the gun, and any expectations of survival I'd had completely fell away.

There was a smashing sound, and then the gun was gone.

It happened that fast. One second the gun was pointing at my face, and the next, a crash resounded through the store and the gun was gone. The man had time to turn and say, "Huh?" before the he was on the ground, Jasper Hale pinning him to the tile.

Give me one reason," he growled, "why I shouldn't kill you right now."

"Alice?"

"Aunt Karen?"

"Alice! Alice, what happened?" She took in me, the robber, Jasper, and the gun.

"It's okay now," I said. I was strangely calm. In fact, everyone's emotions seemed to be lowering. The thief wasn't struggling, Aunt Karen wasn't panicking, and I wasn't going into shock after having a gun pointed at me. Jasper, however, was still tense and alert.

Aunt Karen ran to the phone and dialed the police. Once she hung up, she turned to Jasper. "You stopped him?"

"Yes," he said. "I was driving by, and I saw the broken window. I climbed through myself to investigate, and it's a good thing I did."

"That was incredibly brave."

"It was more a matter of being in the right place at the right time with the right amount of adrenaline and martial arts training."

The police arrived and took the thief out of Jasper's hands, thanking him profusely. Dr. Cullen was with them. He was young, blonde, and extremely attractive. "You're both very lucky," he said.

"I'm lucky Jasper happened to be in the neighborhood," I said.

"Yes, so it seems." He walked over to speak with Aunt Karen and the police. I turned to Jasper. "Can I talk to you? In private?"

"Sure thing," he said. I led him over to the corner with the flashlight selection, a fairly secluded place hidden by shelves.

"You smashed that window," I blurted out. "You smashed it, and you came in, and took the gun, and pinned him…it was like, three seconds." He opened his mouth to deny it, but I cut him off. "Please don't tell me that I was in shock, or hallucinating or something. I know what I saw."

"I'm not completely sure about that."

"Are you saying you didn't break the window?"

"No. I'm saying that you may have seen it, but you don't know what it was that you saw."

"That's not very helpful."

"I've been very helpful tonight."

I blushed. "Right. Did I officially thank you for saving my life?"

"Not officially."

"Then thank you."

"It was my pleasure." He looked very sincere. My stomach did a summersalt.

"Jasper," interrupted Dr. Cullen, who had found us. "We should get home and let the others know that everything's all right. Are you still feeling all right, Alice? Not going into shock?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Thank you again, Jasper. Really, really thank you." Wow. That sounded stupid.

"See you at school tomorrow," he said.

*

When Carlisle and I arrived home, the rest of the family was sitting at the dining room table in "intervention mode." Carlisle took his usual place at the table. I leaned against the wall. Once before, Edward had been in a similar place for similar reasons. I hoped my situation would not turn out like his had.

"Jasper," began Carlisle. "Let me start off by saying that you're actions this evening were not reprehensible at all. You saved an innocent girl and put away a criminal. I want to say that I'm proud of you. That being said, we must question your motives."

"You told me to get to know her," I said.

Emmett snorted. "That doesn't mean you have to stalk her."

"I wasn't—"

Carlisle held up his hand, and I stopped. "That's not exactly how I would put it," he said, "but in crude terms, Emmett is right. You did not need to be anywhere near her, and it could have been dangerous. What if she had cut herself accidentally? You were too close for anyone's comfort."

Edward cut in. "But besides the obvious risk, there is another issue facing you. I know what you're thinking, and I know where it can lead. This is what I was warning you about. If you remain on the path you are on, you could be putting Alice in danger."

"She was in danger tonight! I _saved_ her. If I hadn't been there, she would be dead. Doesn't that count for anything?" I knew that I walking a dangerous line, but I felt my defenses rising.

"Jasper," said Esme, "We are not reprimanding you for what you've done. We're just warning you that you shouldn't get so close when you pose such a threat to her."

"I understand perfectly! Do you think I haven't realized how stupid this idea is? Why else would I be acting this way except because it is helping?"

I didn't need my ability to tell that they were stunned at the outburst. Even Edward hadn't realized how well his reckless strategy was working. Something about Alice was beginning to overpower the allure of her blood. The idea of her death was abhorrent to me. Neither side of me wished for her death. I only wished their was some way to satiate my thirst without destroying her.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too," muttered Edward.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope that made up for the wait...I PROMISE to get more momentum into my updating! I swear!


	7. Chapter 5

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...an update!

Very pivotal chapter, and sort of longish, too! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

An hour later, Aunt Karen and I went home. Uncle Pete and Mike knew what happened, but Aunt Karen made them stay put. She just wanted to settle things with the police and close up. When we walked into the living room, they were sitting there waiting. Uncle Pete immediate crossed and embraced both of us.

"Don't you ever start out a phone conversation with the words 'please don't panic' ever again," he said. "I doubt my heart can take it." He let me go, but Mike took his place immediately. I was a little shocked. We weren't usually a touchy-feely group, but there's something about a near-death experience that makes you want to hug everything in sight, just to make sure you don't fall apart.

It was a strange thing to think because I'd been relatively calm until we got home. I registered this late reaction, but didn't have time to really think it through. I was too busy trying not to start sobbing into Mike's T-shirt. I had almost died. What if I had? What would my dad have done? We never really straightened things out. Now I was determined that even if we didn't leave the wedding as one big happy family, we would leave on good terms. I didn't want to feel like my life was incomplete.

My goal for the next day was to confront Jasper about Jacob's stories. Last night's display was proof that there was something extraordinary about him. During English, Edward Cullen was giving me weird, slightly irritated looks. Whispered comments I would've liked to make ran through my head, mostly along the lines of, "Take a picture, it'll last longer," but I resisted.

After Biology, I automatically headed towards the picnic tables. Jasper was already sitting there. I sat down across from him.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

So he knew that something was up.

"I spend a lot of time up at the Quileute reservation," I said. I tried to gauge his reaction. His posture was nonchalant, but one of his hands was gripping the table. Hard.

"Really?" he said. "That's nice."

"Yeah. I've got this friend who lives there, and he was telling me some stories the other day."

"What kind of stories?" His other hand was curled into a fist near his mouth, but his voice was steady.

"Scary stories," I said.

"Do you like scary stories?" he asked...

"I don't mind them."

"But do they scare you?"

"A little bit," I admitted.

"Not enough to send you running as far away from me as possible?"

"So it's true?" I said.

"Yes."

I gasped despite myself. "So you're…"

"A vampire. A blood-drinker. A 'cold one.'" He raised his eyebrows. "Doesn't that bother you? Does it matter that I just admitted to drinking blood?"

"That's blunt."

"Well?"

I paused. I hadn't actually thought about it in relation to being around him. It was definitely scary, terrifying, actually, but something about him…I couldn't explain it. It went deeper than conscious thought. I couldn't just turn around and run.

"Yes," I said finally. "It does matter. But I'm not going to run."

He smiled, a real, genuine, happy smile. "You have no idea how wrong it is that I'm extremely happy to hear that."

I smiled back. His mood was infectious.

"So," he said, "curious about anything?"

"Um, coming out in the daylight?" I asked.

"Daylight's fine. The sun…well, I don't fry, but I certainly do attract attention."

"What?"

"You have to see it to understand. Anything else?"

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth. I haven't the slightest idea how _that_ one got started. Same with stakes and crosses and holy water. Stabbing me with a piece of wood ends with a whole bunch of splinters. Garlic...well, we don't really like normal…food…in general."

We were both silent for a second, neither one really wanting to ask or answer the question.

"This is silly," he finally said. "It has to come up sometime."

"Jacob said that you were…different. That you didn't…"

"Animals," he said. "We hunt animals. It was all Carlisle's—Dr. Cullen's—idea. He searched for an alternative, and he found one. It's not quite the same…fulfillment, but it provides what we need. Sort of like tofu. Am I scaring you yet?" he asked.

"No," I said. Yes. My brain was petrified, but except for some small butterflies in the bottom of my stomach (which might have just been from his very presence), I wasn't feeling the physical manifestations of fear. "So you've been with the doctor and his wife long?"

"Family history," he said. "Now _there's_an interesting story. Carlisle was alone for over two hundred years until 1918, when he created Edward. After him came Esme, Carlisle's wife, then Rosalie, Emmett, me, and Bella."

"And he…created…all of you?"

"Everyone but me. I existed for a very long time before I met him. I'm the only one who had a relatively peaceful transformation. The others were dying when he bit them. Dammit! I promised myself I wouldn't scare you too much."

"No," I protested, but the surge in the butterflies was against me. A moment later, however, they were nearly gone. Weird. "How can you tell, anyway? I don't think I'm that obvious."

"You're not," he said. "Some of us have special…talents. I can sense and control emotions."

"Oh," I said. "That makes sense." I thought about the times when I should have been upset around him, but was instead calm. Like now, for instance. "You've never done that to _me_, have you?"

"Would it bother you if I did?"

"No," I said. "Not unless you made me feel something I didn't want to feel."

"I try not to do that," he said. "Because usually, once I leave, the false emotion goes away. For instance, I can make two people feel attracted to each other, but if I walk out of the room, the feelings will fade. But I wouldn't do that."

"Can all v-vampires do that?" I stumbled a bit over the word.

"Edward and Bella are both talented. Edward can hear what others are thinking."

I groaned. He was inside my _head?_ "That explains a lot."

"I agree that he can be somewhat irritating. It makes him nosy." He looked meaningfully at the cafeteria, and I wondered if Edward could hear us right now. "Bella's the only one who can get any privacy. She's got sort of a shield against talents. It's only guards against mental intrusion, though. I can still get a read on her."

"Wow," I said. "Why does that happen?"

"Carlisle has a theory about personality traits, and I—"

He was interrupted by the bell sounding around campus. We both jumped up. "What's your next class?" I asked.

"Physics," he said. "Yours?"

"History."

"I'll walk you there, if you'd like."

"Sure." If I'd like. Even after he told me that he drank blood, I still was thrilled to have more time with him.

We walked together, but now that we were surrounded by other late students staring shamelessly, it wasn't comfortable to continue the conversation. Superhuman abilities and being late to history didn't really go together in my mind.

We reached to door to my class. "Well, er, thank you," I said.

"Bye."

I couldn't help but smile for the rest of the day.

*

I skipped the rest of school. I was almost in a daze. Being with Alice had been easy, relatively effortless…She was so engaging, I found it simpler than usual to resist her. Carlisle and Edward were right. Moreover, _I_ was right. I wasn't truly sure until that moment, despite what I said to the others.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Edward followed me into the woods behind the school. "I have to say, it's almost a miracle. The effect she has on your mind is extraordinary. Supernatural. But you do know what this means."

I knew. The way Alice made me feel was like a new craving. I was getting addicted.

"Like your own personal drug," muttered Edward, bitter as ever.

The consequences were dire. I was too selfish, too used to self-gratification, to deny myself both human blood and Alice. It was one or the other. Either way, she ended up the victim. If I chose blood, she would be the first to go. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought. But if I chose her, there was only one way our story could have a happy ending. She had a life, and a family. Was I that selfish?

Yes. Most definitely yes.

Edward sighed. "That's your decision," he said. "But you'd better hope that it's hers as well."

*

When I awoke the next morning, I had a feeling about the day. Something important was about to happen.

The morning was normal until I exited Biology with Sam. My heart almost stopped. Jasper was standing outside the door. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," My voice cracked and the blood rushed to my cheeks. He flinched, but I was expecting it.

Sam giggled. "I'll see you later, Alice," she said, and practically skipped away.

"Could I walk you to lunch?" asked Jasper, completely ignoring Sam's behavior and the stares of my classmates.

"S-sure," I said. At first I was nervous, but by the time we reached the picnic tables, I was back in the comfort zone that we had established yesterday. I wondered if he had anything to do with it.

He didn't say anything while I ate my sandwich, but he did wrinkle his nose a little. "Not as good as pig's blood?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "We don't feed on domesticated animals. We prefer wild beasts. I especially like wolves, but so many of them are endangered."

"How inconvenient," I said. "So, um, why the…"

"Meeting you at your last class thing?" he said.

"Yeah," I said.

"I made a choice."

"Which was…?"

"I don't want to try to stay away from you," he said.

"You have to stay away from me?" I stared into his eyes. Bad idea.

"I don't want to, but I probably should. If you want me to, I will."

"No!" I said, a little too strongly. "I mean, if you don't want to, you…you don't have to."

"Good. Because the other option isn't such a nice one." He grimaced.

"What's the other option?" I asked.

"You don't want to know."

"You can't just say something like that and then expect me to just take your word for it."

"No. You're scared of me enough as it is. As you should be." He scowled. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying _not_ to scare the living daylights out of you. It's very hard, as you have a rational mind." His mask of calm slipped, exposing anguish for a split second until he recovered.

"How come you look like you're in pain so much?" I asked.

"You're very observant," he said.

"Actually, you do it a lot. Show how unhappy you are, I mean."

"Most humans aren't around me enough to notice."

"Are you going to tell me that, at least?" I persisted.

He shook his head. "It's the thing you want me to tell you."

"Com on!" I said. "Try me."

"Fine," he said. "It's because I have a harder time resisting human blood than the others. My past didn't make for the easiest transition. It's the constant battle of resisting the urge to—to do what my instincts tell me to. And then, of course, there's you. You're so much more…appealing than most others. The scent of your blood is like…I hate to use a food analogy, but you're the chocolate cake to everyone else's pop tart."

I raised my eyebrows. "Is that a compliment?"

"If you're flattered by the fact that I crave your blood, then yes, I suppose it is."

"Is that why you all but attacked me on my first day here?" I asked.

"Yes. If it wasn't for Emmett and Edward, I would have killed you."

I believed it. He'd looked very capable of killing me then. "And that's why you left?"

"Yes. If I'd stayed in Forks, I would have sought you out and…well, you know."

"So why did you come back?

"At first I was happy to be away from Forks and the pretenses I had to keep up here. I thought it would help me focus on my goal. But being in the wilderness made it easier to forget why I tried to resist in the first place. Eventually, I came very, very close to slipping." He closed his eyes, as if trying to block out the memory. "Edward stopped me in time, but we decided that maybe I should try Forks again. And here I am."

"And you still…you know, want to…drink my blood?" There. I said it.

He hesitated. "Yes…and no."

"That's helpful."

"I mean that it's easier now, to resist you. I still crave your blood, but I don't want to kill you. Does that make any sense?"

"Not really."

He huffed. "Your blood still appeals to me. But now, you're not just a walking vessel for it. The idea of ending your life is _not_ appealing. I find that I desire your company more."

Did he just admit he liked me?

We were cut off by the bell again. "I'd walk you to your next class, but your cousin is a bit...distressed." He smiled slightly. "I'll see you later." He walked away as Mike ran up. As soon as he was out of earshot, Mike started in.

"Oh my _God_ Alice, what the hell? You and Jasper Hale?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. He's a really nice guy, once you get to know him."

Mike merely shook his head. "A six-pack and a pretty face solves everything, I guess…" I punched him in the arm jokingly, but his mood didn't lift.

History and gym passed in a daze. People spoke to me, but I replied on autopilot. I was still having trouble processing that not only was Jasper a vampire, but he liked me.

Jasper was outside the gym when I finished changing. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said back, my voice much more even than it had been the first time I walked out of a class and he was there.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asked.

"I have to work, but I'm off by five. Why?"

"Would you like to join me for dinner?"

I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

He smiled. "I mean, would you like to go to a restaurant in Port Angeles with me?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"I guess I am."

"Then I would love to. Oh, but I should ask my aunt and uncle first," I said.

"That's fine," he said. "Edward and I will stop by the store at some point this afternoon anyway. Partly because we need a new tent, and partly because of what happened Tuesday night." An edge of menace crept into his voice.

Mike walked up behind me. "Ready to go, Al…" my name died on his tongue when he saw who was standing with me.

"Hi," said Jasper. Mike just stood there with his mouth halfway open.

"I'll see you later, then," I said to Jasper.

"Definitely," he said, and walked toward his family in the parking lot.

I turned to my pathetic excuse for a cousin. "Okay, Mike, let's go."

He snapped out of it. "Uh, okay, yeah, let's go."

When we got in the car, Mike said, "Look, Al, about this whole Hale thing…"

"Save it, Mike," I said. "If you're not going to say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

"There's something up with that family, I'm telling you!"

"Not believing Jake's stories, are you?"

"No, I just…I just don't think you should be involved with him."

"Good for you. Can we go now? I have to ask Aunt Karen if I can go to Port Angeles tonight."

"With Sam?"

"With Jasper."

"_What?_"

"I'm about three seconds from kicking you out of the car and driving myself to work."

He started the engine.

He was still moody when we got to work. "Hey, Aunt Karen," I said when we walked in, "can I go to Port Angeles tonight with Jasper Hale?"

"He's one of Dr. Cullen's adopted sons, isn't he?" she asked.

"Yeah. The blond one."

"Do you have a lot of homework?"

"Not really. I can probably get it done here."

"Well, as long as you're home by nine, I don't see why not."

"Yes!" I said, doing a little jump.

Aunt Karen smiled. "This is some boy, huh?"

"You can't even imagine," I said.

Mike rolled his eyes and huffed. Aunt Karen pointed at him with a manicured finger. "You," she said. "Inventory. We've still got a lot to do to get ready for the winter." He groaned dramatically and dragged himself to the back room. "What time are you leaving?" Aunt Karen asked.

"I don't really know," I said. "Jasper has to come here with his brother anyway."

Aunt Karen nodded. The Cullens were good customers, thanks to all the camping they did. I was starting to wonder about that. I'd definitely seen them buying water bottles and bear-proof food containers. Unless, of course, they filled them up with something later…

I shook my head. Thinking like that wasn't very helpful.

The next hour seemed to drag on forever. When would he come? How much time did he think he would need at the store? Would that even affect what time he came?

I was reorganizing the shoe area to pass the time. It was a pretty time-consuming job, and I welcomed the distraction. I was on a footstool, trying to replace a box on a particularly high shelf, when pale white hands plucked it from my grasp and set it down above me. "Hi," he said.

"I didn't notice you there," I said, stepping down.

"What's the verdict on dinner?" he asked.

"I have to be home by nine," I said.

He smiled, his genuine, happy smile. "No problem."

"So didn't you say you needed to buy something?"

This time his grin was kind of wicked. "Edward's handling that. Your cousin is entertaining him."

He led me quietly around the corner to the front of the store, where Mike, recently released from inventory, was showing Edward Cullen some of the tents we had set up on display.

"This one's got an awning that pulls out here," Mike was saying. He untied it and pulled it out to demonstrate. "It's great for camping around here. You can sit outside and not get rained on."

"Mmm," said Edward. "That's handy, but the space inside is a bit small. Do you have anything bigger?"

"This is the biggest one we have set up."

"But you sell bigger tents, don't you?"

"Uh, yeah, but they won't fit on the floor. They're up there…" He gestured at the stacks of boxes on shelves above their heads.

"Could you find me the biggest one you've got?"

Mike sighed quietly and dragged the stepladder over. As he climbed, Edward turned at winked at us. I forced back giggles.

"That's awful!" I whispered.

"Mike was always just a little bit too interested in Bella," said Jasper. "Ed doesn't really take kindly to that sort of thing."

Mike grabbed the tent box and descended the ladder, trying not to drop the box or fall. He made it down and dropped the box in front of Edward. "Here…it…is. Biggest…thing…in…the store."

Edward examined the box. "It's difficult to really see how big it is. Do you think you could set it up?"

Mike breathed deeply and got to work. Edward stood by, watching and occasionally correcting Mike, but not offering to help. On another day I might have felt sorrier for my cousin, but he'd been pretty annoying about the whole Jasper thing. The corners of Edward's mouth turned up even more. The mind reading thing was kind of annoying. At least I didn't have any secrets that he didn't already know by now.

When Mike finally got the tent set up, Edward looked it over. "It's nice, but…well, it's just a little _too_ big. We don't really need that much room." He looked back at the original tent. "This one will do fine, actually. But I'd rather it in blue. Do you have that?"

Again, Mike trekked up the ladder to find the tent in blue. "Thanks so much for your help," said Edward when Mike was back on the ground.

"No problem," puffed Mike. "I guess I'll just leave the big one up out here."

"Oh no you won't," said Aunt Karen, passing by with another customer. "It's too big to keep out. You're going to pack it away _neatly_ while Alice rings them up. Alice?" she said. Mike noticed Jasper and I watching for the first time.

"You are so walking to school tomorrow," he said. I waved sweetly and scuttled away, Jasper and Edward behind me. I rang them up. "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I asked, trying to remain somewhat professional.

"Oh yes. Your salesboy was quite helpful," said Edward.

"That was a little cruel."

"It was more than a little funny."

"Thank you, please come again." I rolled my eyes.

Aunt Karen came around with the customer she'd been with. "Just ring up up Mrs. Marks, Alice, and I'll let you go early. I wouldn't want you to keep these boys waiting."

"Thanks!" I said. I finished with Mrs. Marks, threw off my neon orange vest, and grabbed my bag from under the counter. "Bye!"

"Have fun."

We passed Mike on the way out. He had dissembled the tent, and was currently trying to fold it up and put it back in the box. "Employee of the Month, right there," I said.

"Hope you enjoy walking in the rain."

Jasper and Edward led me to a gold Mercedes sedan. Edward stowed the box and climbed into the back. Apparently I got shotgun. "We're dropping Edward off at home on the way," said Jasper.

I craned my neck over the seat. "Is there anything I could say to get you to let up on Mike a little bit?" I asked Edward.

"Probably not."

"Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"That would take a lot of effort on your part."

I wasn't so sure about that.

"Maybe. We'll see."

Dammit. "That's really annoying," I said.

"I was aware you felt that way." He smirked.

Jasper interrupted. "Actually, _I_ was."

"Hilarious," said Edward.

"I'm almost as funny as you are."

"Now t_hat's_ comical."

"All right. Get out."

At first I was confused, but then I realized we must have reached their house. I looked around, curious, but we were just stopped next to the opening of a road that wound through the woods. "Is there a neighborhood down there?"

"Nope, just our house."

"Talk about privacy."

"We keep to ourselves," said Edward. He grabbed the box and climbed out. "Have fun."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed! Review...it makes me feel loved 3.


	8. Chapter 6

A/N: So this is the last update for a month, as I will be traveling all July. I hope this leaves you eager for more without the desire to rip off my head at the wait. At least I'm warning you this time! It includes one of my absolute FAVORITE scenes, so make sure you review and tell me what you thought!

Reminder: * indicates POV change.

Picking up right where we left off...

* * *

"Goodbye, Edward," I said.

Edward pushed the door closed and I immediately drove away at a normal speed, as opposed to how slowly I had to drive in the immediate Forks area.

"Do the words 'speed' and 'limit' mean anything to you?" Alice said when she caught sight of the speedometer. Her voice cracked a little bit, and I felt some real fear coming off her.

"I won't get caught, if that's what you mean."

"No, what I mean is that you're going a hundred miles per hour on a wet highway."

"This is a good car. Don't you trust me?"

"This might be pushing it." Her fear was accelerating nearly as fast as I was. I sent a wave of calm toward her.

Her priorities were in an interesting place. There she was, sitting in a car with the most dangerous being in the state of Washington, and she was worried about how fast I was driving. "So you trust me not to suck your blood more than you trust me not to crash?"

"Yes."

I studied her closely for a moment. A small, almost child-like face, framed by her short black hair. It was an interesting cut for a girl. Her eyes were pale blue, and staring straight into mine. I wouldn't hurt her. I couldn't. "I'm not going to betray your trust," I said.

She nodded, eyes wide. Suddenly, they broke contact and flicked to the window, where the highway was rushing past. "Eyes on the road!" she cried, panic welling up and pouring out of her. Her body curled into the default position of protection, her legs pulled up against her body and her arms wrapped around them. I pulled over. Her anxiety at my driving was more than just initial shock. Somehow, I hadn't realized that. I had been so hung up on the idea that she trusted me, I hadn't noticed. It was obvious, really. Her mother had been killed in a car accident. In a normal situation, someone driving the way I did would end up the same way. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Just when I thought I was getting the hang of this.

"Alice?" I said softly. I sent waves of calm over her, not enough to create artificial feelings, but enough to keep her together. It was difficult work to keep her calm while I was being torn apart by guilt, which was not a typical occurrence. I rarely had to use my gift on myself, but I was trying. If I could feel calm, she could feel calm.

"Alice, I'm so sorry. I was stupid. I should've realized that my driving would upset you. I can't even explain how horrible I feel right now."

She uncurled a little, and her eyes shone with unshed tears. "Don't feel horrible," she said. "I'm just oversensitive to stuff like that, I guess."

"Then I should be over oversensitive. I should've realized what was going on."

She wiped her eyes. "Really, it's okay. I mean, I'm fine in normal cars and stuff. I guess I'm just paranoid about reckless driving."

"You know, it's not really reckless driving," I said. "Reckless driving indicates that there is a risk of crashing. My reflexes are faster than your eyes can catch. My vision makes an eagle seem blind. When I drive, there is no way that I'm going to crash." Still, I wanted to make sure she felt comfortable. This was our first date, however odd that was, and I wanted to make it as damage-free as possible. "If it bothers you, though, I could drive slowly."

She nodded. "I'd like that…at least for a little while. I'll try to get used to your driving." She smiled. Her smile was an adorable paradox. She was like a child, but without naïve innocence. "Come on," she said. "I've got a curfew."

*

The trip went smoothly after the driving incident. I ended up telling him more about my family and my mom's death, after asking him to dull the pain a little bit. His talent was really coming in handy. I told him about the wedding as well.

"So you want to work things out with your dad?" he said.

"Yeah," I said. "It's worth seeing him remarried—ugh—to try and make things okay between us."

"So you're not really happy about it?"

"It's just weird…I mean, he's got every right to move on."

"And you've never met the bride?"

"No," I said. "I don't know anything about her. I mean, I don't think she'll be some sort of wicked stepmother. My sister likes her, at least. She's the one who'll have to live with the woman."

"What if they want you to live with them?" he asked. "Would you go?"

I allowed myself, just for a moment, to imagine going back. I would return to my old school. I could graduate with the friends I grew up with. I would have a real family again: a dad, a sister, and a sort-of mom. I would never have to worry again that maybe I was imposing. In Forks, at my aunt and uncle's house, I was always trying to be good, and polite, and not abuse their kindness. I didn't have a lot to complain about, but sometimes I just wished I could. With my own family, I wouldn't have to always try to be a good kid. Guilt and gratitude wouldn't stop me from speaking my mind.

"Alice?"

But then I remembered why I'd left. If Dad had listened to me two years ago, I never would have come to Forks. And I'd still rather live here than with someone who I still believed was responsible for Mom's death.

"No," I said quietly. "I made a choice."

He dropped the subject, and soon after, we arrived in Port Angeles. "So where are we going?" I asked.

"What are you in the mood for?"

"I don't know," I said, then automatically, "You? Oops."

He merely laughed in his quiet way. "Whatever you want is fine with me," he said.

"Um…" I wracked my brains, trying to think of a restaurant in the town. "There's a good Italian place that Mike and Jake and I sometimes hit when we're here." Not exactly sometimes. Once, actually. Usually when we came to Port Angeles, we just went to McDonald's, but one time, the year before, it had been closed for a few days because somebody found fingernails in their fries. We'd just kept walking until we got to the first restaurant we saw, which happened to be La Bella Italia. The food was good, but it was too much of a strain on our meager allowances to go there every time we saw a movie.

"Italian it is," he said, and found it easily. He led the way in. The hostess at the podium's jaw dropped when she saw him.

"T—two?" she stuttered.

"A secluded table, if you don't mind," said Jasper

"Sure thing," she said, and led us to a corner booth. I could almost feel her resisting the urge to turn around and stare at the god walking behind her. She seated us, then sped off to the kitchen, probably to gush to a waitress or something.

After a waitress came out and took our orders (Jasper waited until I ordered, then just asked for the same thing). We sat for a moment, me playing with my napkin, him staring at me. When the waitress put our drinks down in front of us, I looked up at him. "I've told you a ton about me. What about you? Didn't you say that you were around for a while before you met up with your family?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked. "It's not a pleasant story."

"Try me," I said. "I've been doing well so far."

"I was born in Texas in 1843."

I choked on my drink. "I warned you," he said as I coughed.

"It's not that," I said when I caught my breath. "It's one thing to know someone's that old. It's another thing to have them sitting in front of you, looking like a teenager."

"I'm physically twenty."

"You know what I mean."

"Would you like me to continue?" he asked. I nodded.

"My name was Jasper Lawrence Whitlock. The handkerchief I lent you wasn't my mother's. It was mine," he said.

"Oh!" I said. "I have that!" I went to rummage in my bag, but he said, "Keep it. I don't have any use for it."

"Oh," I said. "Okay then. Thanks."

He continued his tale. I listened carefully as he related his story: the vampire wars of the southwest; how he had joined the Confederate army and been changed; his time with Maria and her army; Peter and Charlotte's escape and return; and finally, his departure. At some point, our food arrived, but I wasn't really paying attention to it as I ate. I was enthralled by his story.

"It wasn't difficult to leave Maria. She was already starting to consider turning on me; I wasn't the strong, ruthless fighter I'd been before. I was tired of the fight. It all seemed so futile: what did it matter who won and who lost? The next day, there was always another battle to fight, another enemy to conquer. Everyone would be destroyed someday; where was the point?

"When Peter and Charlotte returned, and told me about a peaceful north, I left, and I've never looked back. I traveled with them for a while, but my depression refused to lift.

"The problem was that because I was no longer fighting, hunting allowed me to focus completely on my prey. Their emotions affected me. It's very difficult when you feel their awe, then fear, then nothing… I tried to hunt less often, but restraint was difficult. It still is. But in my state of mind, I didn't know I could stop completely. The torture continued.

"That was how Edward found me, in Vancouver. It was night, and I was hunting. I was lurking in an alley, waiting to ask some unsuspecting passerby for directions. I was thinking rather dismal thoughts, trying to figure out how long this meal could last me. I was almost to the breaking point right then.

"Then a voice came out of the alley behind me. 'There's another way, you know,' he said. 'You don't have to kill them.' I turned around, and Edward was standing there. He'd heard me thinking. He offered me a salvation I didn't know existed. I went home with him and met Carlisle. He explained that animal blood satisfied the craving without the torture I went through every time I ended a human life.

"Edward had just finished the first fifteen years of Bella's vampire life. To him, I was almost like another newborn: I had little restraint and less reason to try. But try I did. He was able to keep tabs on me by my thoughts. Whenever I got close to quitting, he knew what to say to save me. Without him, I don't know where I'd be now."

The waitress dropped off the check then. While he looked it over, I took a minute to process what he'd told me. It was so unbelievable. His was the sort of story I expected to see between the covers of a book. If I hadn't seen him in action, I wouldn't believe it.

He paid, and we left. We were silent until we got in the car. He turned to me. "Did I scare you? Was that too much for the first date?"

Date. I was on a date with _him_. "No," I said. "It was fine for the…first date." It was a testament to my self control that I didn't break out in giggles.

"That's true," he said. "You're very happy. Effervescent." He smiled, his real smile. "It's contagious."

We drove for a little while, him just smiling. I stared at him a little bit. It really lit up his face in a way I'd never seen before. Something about him just oozed pain. It reminded me a little bit of myself the first year after my mom died. Hurt, but continuing; enjoying the little things, but unable to escape the big picture. But this was different. He was really, truly happy, riding in a car with me.

He walked me to the door. We stood there for a moment. He positively glowed under my porch light. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine for an instant. They were hard and cold, but the kiss awakened something in me. Before I could really react, it was over. He smiled and walked back to his car. Shaking a little, I opened the door. I looked back.

The car was gone.

Aunt Karen was waiting in the living room, watching TV with Uncle Pete. "Well?" she asked. "What happened?"

I shrugged. "We went to that little Italian place and came home."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah. It was great."

I could tell she wanted juicy details, but there weren't any that I could share. I didn't feel like fibbing. As far as she knew, it was a good, but mundane, date.

"I'm a little tired," I said.

She said goodnight, and I went upstairs. I got ready for bed and lay down, but I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was the kiss. The joy it brought me was almost as intense as the fear. I was mortal, and Jasper was not. He'd come close to killing me at least twice. Where could romance between us lead?

*

I kissed her. I came closer to her than I'd ever been to a human since I'd fed on one. And she was alive. My confidence was boosted tenfold. I'd given in to my buried human desires and resisted the monstrous ones. There was hope. It would be difficult, but I knew that it was possible.

I pulled over to the side of the road and parked the car. There was one thing I wanted to try while I was still somewhat used to her scent. I was worried that if I didn't try it tonight, I wouldn't ever be able to. I was pushing all my limits. I could only pray that this wasn't going too far.

It was easy to tell which window was hers. It faced the backyard and the woods. There were pink curtains at the window. Her silhouette moved in the light beyond. I watched and waited until the light went out. I don't know how long I stood there; I waited for every room in the house to go dark and every person relax into the emotional low of sleep. Finally, all was quiet. I climbed up the back wall of the house and alighted on the window sill. Very slowly, I lifted up the window. She hadn't locked it. I should have warn her about it the next time I saw her, but that would involve telling her what I was doing, and that was a conversation I didn't really want to have.

I slid through the window and touched down softly on the wood floor. Her bed was across the room, on the same wall as the closed door. Everything was a dark shade of pink. She was lying on her side, the covers up to her chest. Her bare arms were sticking out above the covers. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt. She shivered at the cold wind that blew in through the open window behind me. I closed it.

Alice asleep was different from Alice awake. She was less worried, less weighted. When she was asleep, she looked years younger than she was. Her face was even more childish without the maturity she commanded in consciousness. How could I hurt her? What kind of monster could do that?

Whitlock growled from within me. _If you can't do it for her,_ I thought at him, _do it for yourself. However much you crave it, you'd be devastated._ He couldn't deny it. I was infatuated, heart, body, and soul.

I stood there, me, myself, and I, until it was about the time that I should get home in order to change and be ready for the school day. When I got home, I was still thinking about Alice. Edward was waiting for me on the porch in the predawn light. "Those are thoughts I never imagined you would have," he said, his amusement flowing into me.

There is nothing worse than having someone privy to all of your most embarrassing thoughts.

"There is nothing more fun than to be that someone."

Having fun with a talent is a two way street.

"You wouldn't," he said, hearing my intentions, but it was too late. I allowed myself to delve into the deeper feelings I had at my disposal, stolen from when members of the household experienced moments of passion. And none were more intense than those of Rosalie and Emmett.

The effects on Edward were instantaneous. "You're a monster," he growled, and ran into the house. I followed in time to see him grab Bella and run upstairs. Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie stared after them in wonder.

Emmett looked back at me. "Do you have any idea…?" He noticed the wicked smile that was spread across my face. "You bastard," he said. He held up his hand, and I slapped it. "Best. Payback. Ever. Man, I wish I had a superpower."

Rosalie snorted and Carlisle tried to look disapproving, but both of them were almost as amused as Emmett was. Yes, revenge was sweet.

"They'd better be quick," muttered Rosalie. "I don't want to be late for school."

* * *

A/N: Haha. I always thought Stephenie Meyer should have utilized Jasper for more than putting people to sleep. Not that I'm the first person to use him like this either.

Anyway, no updates for a month, but please review anyway! I'll try to respond, but I'll have very limited computer access, so I'm going to have to be a bit more selective in my replies than usual.


	9. Chapter 7

I have no excuse for not updating, so let's just skip the apology and get to what you hopefully want to read.

* * *

The next morning, while I was, yet again, waiting for Mike to do his hair, the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and there was Jasper. He laughed at my expression. "I was afraid that your cousin might make good on his threats not to give you a ride today. Want a lift?"

"Mike!" I yelled. "I'm leaving! See you at school!"

I closed the door on his protests. Jasper chuckled again. "The joy that you're feeling is incredible. Most people wouldn't be so happy to see me at their door."

"Hopefully you wouldn't be at most people's door for the reason you're at mine." We got in the car and drove off. I noticed that he was driving at the speed limit.

We reached school, and again I put up with the stares that seemed to be part of the package with Jasper. He dropped me off at my English class. I almost didn't go in; I was pretty much never there sooner than a second before the late bell. About half the class was there, mostly lounging and talking. I dropped off my stuff at my desk and purposefully ignored Edward. _Stay out of my head or you won't want to be anywhere near it._ I had a privacy plan.

I chatted with Tyler until Mike showed up at our usual almost-late time. "Alice, what the hell?" he said. "I thought you'd taken the car or something, but Mom said that Hale showed up and you went with him."

Tyler gaped at me. "You and Hale? Are you, like, an item?"

"Shut up, Tyler. And yes, Mike, I got a ride from Jasper. Does that bother you?" I gazed at him sweetly.

"It's my job to keep creeps away from you," he muttered as Mr. Lane called the class to order. "And there's something way creepy about him."

When I sat down, Edward muttered, "I'd really like to know what it is you'd use to keep me out of your head."

I gave him the innocent look. "Are you sure? It's pretty horrible." I actively avoided thinking of it, imagining only the horror on his face when he saw what I saw.

"The suspense is killing me."

"You'll survive."

"I don't think you actually have anything."

"That isn't going to work on me," I said. "I'll just wait until you really start to bother me. Then you'll be sorry."

He snorted softly. I just smiled and, to keep my mind away from my secret weapon, counted the floor tiles in Spanish.

The rest of the day was similar to the one before it. Jasper and I sat at the picnic tables again. The rain was light, but neither of us minded. He told me more about the vampire world, his family, and their history. Afterwards, he walked me to class and was there again when I exited.

"Tomorrow's Saturday," he said.

I nodded. "That it is."

"I'm going on a quick hunting trip during the day. Would you like to go out again tomorrow night?"

"Sure. Where to?" Second date. I fought to keep my elation under control, but his smile made it obvious that he'd noticed. I was getting pretty attached to that genuine smile of his. It made him much hotter than when he was brooding.

He shrugged. "What do you want to do?"

"Ah, ah, ah," I said. "As the asker, it is your job to decide. That's how it works. You can ask me again when you've figured something out." Ha. Just because the mere sight of him made my stomach do acrobatics didn't mean I would melt. I could play hard to get. I started to walk away.

"Wait!" he said, and I was a little pleased to hear just a hint of desperation in his voice. He may have been a hundred and sixty-year-old vampire, but asking out a girl obviously wasn't something he'd done much. "I heard it isn't going to rain much this weekend. Maybe something outside?"

"It's going to thunderstorm tomorrow afternoon," I said. I'd felt it coming for days.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"I just do."

"Is that one of those psychic things? Predicting the weather?"

"I guess it must be."

"Well then," he said, "that gave me an idea. I'll run it past the others, but it should be fine. I'll let you know. I'd give you a ride home today, but," he looked at Mike, waiting nearby, "your cousin still isn't happy about us. Until tomorrow." He leaned in, and for a moment I thought he would kiss me again, but then he pulled back and walked away.

As soon as Jasper left, Mike abruptly started walking towards the parking lot, too. I had to run to catch up with him and jog to keep up with him. "Mike!" I said. He didn't answer me. "Earth to Mike!" I grabbed his arm and forced him to a stop.

"Well, look who decided to rejoin the world of the living," he said. I forced down a giggle.

"Aw, did mean Awice hurt poor baby Mikey's feewings?" I said, sticking my lower lip out.

He pulled his arm out of my grip and kept walking. I growled and followed him to the car. "What is your _problem?_" I asked as he got to the door.

He spun around and faced me. "My problem? I'm not the one going out with one of those freaks!"

"Calm down," I said. We were beginning to attract attention. Sam looked like she wanted to come to my defense, but Angela held her back. Tyler and Conner were standing by Tyler's car, at a loss for what to do. I saw Jessica and Lauren out of the corner of my eye, looking way too smug.

Mike ignored my advice, and his voice rose as he spoke. "Do you not remember what happened the first day you were here? We both agreed that there was something freaky about them! That whole family is seriously weird, not to mention stuck-up. They're all so perfect, and rich, and smart, and so convinced of how much _better_ they are than everyone else!"

I looked around. Every other person in the parking lot was now staring at us. Including the Cullens. Shit.

_Screw it,_ I thought. "You're just jealous!" I said, throwing caution to the wind and matching his volume. "You're jealous that they're so much better than you and that Bella Swan snubbed you. It's not their fault you don't like them. You're the one with the problem. Maybe if you could just get over how much you wish you were like them, you wouldn't be so against them!"

"Me?" he said, "jealous? I wouldn't trade lives with them for anything. They're social outcasts!"

"They're pretty smart about that, considering who's 'in.' I'd be a social outcast if I didn't have to deal with you at home anyway."

"You're only defending them because of Hale!"

"So? Why shouldn't I defend them? You see, Mikey, unlike _you_, I can get over things. God, you're so immature! Why'd you have to make a scene? Why can't you just grow up?" To my supreme embarrassment, I was starting to choke up. But I'd never had this kind of fight with anyone since the last time I'd seen my dad, especially not Mike.

Mike faltered, his arguments dying in the face of my tears. Sam ran over and put her arms around me. "Come on, Alice," she said. "You can come over to my house for a while." She shot Mike a look of pure venom that I hadn't thought she was capable of. She led me across the parking lot. I tried not to look at the Cullens while we passed, but Jasper stepped in front of us anyway.

"I'm sorry," he said, but I shook my head.

"It's—not your fault he's such an a—ass. I'll see y—you tomorrow," I said through my tears. I let Sam propel me to her car, and she drove out as fast as possible.

Sam's house was a split level like my own, pretty close to school. We were alone. Her parents were still at work. "Sit," she said, pointing to her kitchen table. She plunked a box of tissues down in front of me and started making hot chocolate. It was a tradition of ours.

When it was ready, she put a steaming mug in front of me and sat down across the small table. "Okay," she said. "So obvious fact numero uno: Mike is a total insensitive—" She used a word so unlike her (or me, for that matter) that I snorted into my hot chocolate. "And why would he do that in public? Couldn't he have held it in until you got home?"

I nodded in agreement, already feeling a little bit better. She continued. "They were standing _right there_. And he wasn't exactly whispering either. I mean, how stupid can you get? 'Hey, I think I'll shout about how much I dislike someone so that they can hear me across the parking lot!'"

We continued to bash Mike until I said, "What he thinks doesn't matter anyway. Just because Mike's an ass doesn't mean I'm not going to see Jasper again."

"Ooh, so is that what it was really about? You're going out again?"

I nodded, and she squealed. "Alice, that is awesome. So what if they keep to themselves? All weirdness aside, Jasper is totally hot."

When Sam dropped me off at home a few hours later, I went straight to my room. Aunt Karen followed me up. "Alice? You missed dinner, honey. Are you hungry?"

"I ate at Sam's." I dumped my backpack on the floor and pulled out my book. I'd done all my homework with Sam, too.

"Mike told me about your argument," she said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I closed the door and leaned against it. I'd seen this conversation coming. It was the reason I'd skipped dinner and stayed at Sam's for so long.

"Aunt Karen, I don't really want to talk about it."

"He didn't really tell me what it was about," she said, continuing regardless. "He just said that it happened. And then you call me and tell me you're with Sam and that you'll be home soon, and you don't show up until now. You can see where I'm concerned."

I gave in. "Jasper asked me to do something with him tomorrow, and Mike doesn't like Jasper, which he decided to shout to the entire student body this afternoon." I told her the details of the fight. She tutted and sighed.

"It was pretty inappropriate of him to say those things, and I will have words with him about that, but he's only looking out for you," she said.

"When will people learn that just because I'm small I don't need constant protection?"

"Oh Alice, it's not just because of your size. Look, if he wanted to date a girl who you thought was bad for him, wouldn't you say something?"

"Well…yeah," I admitted, "but I wouldn't scream it to the heavens or tell her to her face."

Karen nodded. "I know. Mike's not very…tactful, but his intentions were good. I'll speak to him." She got up and I moved away from the door so that she could leave. When she was gone, I shut it behind her and collapsed on my bed. Good intentions. Bah.

I slept late on Saturday. My cell phone woke me up. "Hello?" My voice slurred with sleep.

"Alice?" said a voice that rang like clear bells. "This is Bella Swan. Jasper's still out, but he wanted me to pass along that everything's set for tonight, and we'll pick you up at five."

"'We'll?'"

She nodded. "It's a group activity. That's all I'll say; I don't want to spoil the surprise. Just wear something comfortable that you could wear outside. See you later!" She hung up.

I showered and changed into a pair of old jeans, a T-shirt, and a Forks High School sweatshirt that I'd never worn—Aunt Karen won it in a raffle, and it was too small for Mike. I saw him, but he didn't try to apologize. We ignored each other.

The day passed slowly. I could hear the beginnings of thunder in the distance. I tried reading, watching TV, and messing around on the internet, but I couldn't concentrate on anything. I struggled anyway until the doorbell rang, right on time. Raincoat in hand, I ran downstairs. Aunt Karen was faster than me, though, and she got to the door first.

"Hi there, Ja—"

"Hey!" I said, running up next to her. "I'm ready, let's go!"

He smiled. "Okay, then. Nice to see you, Mrs. Newton."

"You too," she said. "Have a good time. No later than eleven, okay?"

"Right," I said, and left. "So what are we doing?"

"We're going to play baseball, thanks to your little heads-up."

"What?"

"Baseball. We can only play when there's a thunderstorm. You'll see why." The thunder rumbled again as if to support his statement.

We walked down the path to where the car was sitting, but it was unlike any car I'd seen before. It was a monstrous jeep with wheels almost as tall as I me. Emmett Cullen was in the driver's seat, and Bella had shotgun. Jasper lifted me into the backseat with one hand and did up a series of complicated buckles. He climbed in around the other side, and we were off.

"Hey, Alice," said Emmett from the wheel.

"Hi," I said.

Bella turned around in her seat and smiled at us. "The rest of them are already up there. Thanks for the tip, Alice," she said. "Usually we don't get much notice at all."

"No problem," I said. I tried to ignore the speed at which Emmett was driving by focusing on the seat back in front of me. I made it all I could see, until the car disappeared, and a very different scene appeared in front of me.

_Three people, all with deathly pale skin. One had fiery red hair, one was fairly plain, and one was a black-haired little girl. They surrounded a fourth of their kind, a stunning blonde. _

"_No!" she cried. "I don't know him! I have no idea what you're—" She screamed as the red-haired woman reached down and ripped off one of the blonde's six remaining fingers with a screeching sound._

"_Enough, Victoria," said the small one. She turned to the woman in the middle. "I will ask you one last time, Irina: where is Jasper Whitlock?"_

"_I don't know him! I've never heard of anyone by that name!" she pleaded. _

_The black-haired girl sighed. "Ah, well. Let's dispose of this. We'll just have to see if her sisters—"_

"_No!" cried Irina. "Stay away from them!" _

_The girl's eyes lit up. "If you don't tell me where Jasper is, I will have to interrogate your sisters. I will not rest until I find him."_

"_Would you leave them alone if you found what you were looking for?" Irina asked._

_The girl smiled. "What reason would I have to seek them if I already knew where I was going? Why? Has your memory suddenly cleared?"_

"_I…He…" Irina still hesitated._

"_I'm sure your sisters will remember, even if you don't…" said the girl._

"_Forks! He's in Forks, Washington. It's near Seattle. He goes by Jasper Hale, now. He lives with the Cullen clan. They're like us. They're…our good friends. And I…" _

"_There, there," said the black-haired girl. "You won't feel guilty for long." She turned to her companions. "Let's be quick. I want to get to Forks as soon as possible."_

_The nigh was rent with the sound of demolishing the indestructible._

* * *

The plot thickens...Hopefully I'll be able to update soon, as this is the part of the story where I'd like to build up some momentum, but no promises. Please review. I need something to distract me from homework!


	10. Chapter 8

I think this is the longest chapter I have, actually. It used to be two, but they were both kind of short and there was no great place to split it, so welcome to the super-chapter! It's probably the most pivotal thus far, and was also very, very, very, very satisfying to write.

Oh, and yes, I did update within less than a week. I know, it's very impressive. I'm proud of me, too.

* * *

My hand was cold.

"We've got conscious brain activity. Give her a minute, she's coming back."

"What happened?"

"Wait until she regains full consciousness. I need her to remember first."

Remember…Remember what?

"You were in the car. You blacked out."

My eye flew open as the vision came rushing back to me. There was an intake of breath behind me, but all of my attention was diverted by Jasper, crouching next to the sofa I was laying on. The source of the chill on my hand was him holding it. His skin was remarkably smooth.

"Did I scare you?" I teased.

"Yes," he said. "You most certainly did." He placed his other hand on top, so that my tiny hand was sandwiched between his two large ones.

"Then we're even."

"Amazing," said a voice that I slowly recognized as Emmett's. "She just woke up from some sort of episode, has no idea where she is, and all she can think about is him."

I tore my eyes away from Jasper to look to my right, where Emmett, Rosalie, and Bella leaned on the top of the couch.

"I had _hoped_ that you would have met everyone in a less stressful manner," said Jasper.

"Well, I kind of sort of know who they are," I said. "Ish."

"This isn't really the time." I craned my neck backward. Edward was behind me, and for the second time in the past few minutes, I remembered why I was there.

"Oh shit." I closed my eyes, but the images played on the backs of my lids. "Shit, shit, shit…"

"What happened?" asked Jasper. "What did you see?"

"Maria," said Edward. "She's looking for you." He described my vision to them. At Irina's death, Rosalie turned and left faster than I could process. Emmett followed her an instant later. Bella put her head down on the top of the couch. "I'm going to call Tanya and Kate," she said. She pulled out a small silver cell phone and walked over to the window to talk.

I'd been afraid to look at Jasper the whole time Edward was explaining. He moved to put his head in his hands, but he'd forgotten than one of mine was still clasped in them. For a moment, I was afraid that he would let go, but he abandoned the action and squeezed my hand lightly. "Thank you," he muttered.

"What? I just foresaw the coming of your doom, or something."

"Not quite so dramatic," he said. "You kept her from surprising me. This way, I'm ready."

Bella came back over and stood next to Edward. "They must be in Alaska. Irina left to go hunting this morning. They saw the smoke right before I hung up. It must have just happened."

"Oh my God. What time is it?" Crap. How long had I been out?

"Relax," said Edward. "It's just past five-thirty. You were unconscious for nearly a half hour."

"A half hour!" I'd never been out that long before.

"I think your visions happen in real time, present or future. You're out as long as they last."

"Are you feeling all right?" asked Jasper.

I raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you know?"

"You know what I mean."

"I think so," I said. I experimented by trying to sit up. The room began to spin. "Ooh," I moaned and went back down. "Okay. Maybe not."

Jasper looked to Edward. "Are Carlisle and Esme almost back?"

"They're approaching the river. It should only be another minute or so."

I finally realized that I had no idea where I was.

"You're in our house," said Edward.

"Could you please stop answering my thoughts?" I said. "I like talking."

"Sorry. Old habits."

"Which doesn't make them any less annoying," said Jasper. "And as I said, I'd hoped this whole experience would be different for you."

"Experience?"

"Meeting the family. That was what the baseball game was for. This is not what I expected to happen." He paused for a moment. "Actually, nothing's really been predictable since I met you."

I rolled my eyes. "You're not the one who was about to go on a second date with a vampire. And who's sitting in a house full of them."

"True," he said.

"They're back," said Edward.

"What seems to be the problem?" said Carlisle. He crouched down beside Jasper. Behind Carlisle came a gorgeous woman with carmel-colored hair.

"I'm Esme Cullen," she said. "What happened? Is there anything I can do?"

Edward explained about my vision. Jasper said nothing until his brother was finished, when he asked, "Is she going to be okay? She said she's never been out for that long before."

"If this is something she does naturally, she should be fine," said Carlisle. "It shouldn't have caused any damage."

"She couldn't even move afterwards."

"It was just dizziness," I said.

"Disorientation," said Carlisle. "You just need to get your balance back. Everything should be okay, but just in case, I'm going to ask you a few questions."

He quizzed me about the date, where I lived, that sort of thing. I was fine, but Jasper was tense until I eased myself forward and the room stayed where it was.

"See?" I said. "I could run a marathon."

"You can stand?"

I tested it. My legs were a little shaky, but I was okay. "Good as new."

"Good," he said. "I'll take you home."

"What? No!"

He tried to hide it, but he smiled a little bit. I could tell he wanted to be serious, but the fact that I was so opposed to abandoning our plans seemed to make him happy.

"First of all," he said, "there is a murderous vampire on the loose, who is not only highly dangerous, but headed here to find _me_. I don't really think you want to be here when that happens."

"But she's in Alaska," I said.

"Distance means less for us. Alaska may seem far away to you, but it's too close for comfort. And," he added, "You did just pass out for thirty minutes. I'm not doctor, but I don't really think it's a good idea for you to be running with vampires immediately afterwards." He looked to Carlisle, who nodded.

"He's right, Alice. You seem to be fine, but it's probably better for you to take it easy."

I sighed, but I didn't argue. I could see that he was right, and I didn't really want to make a bad impression on Jasper's family. "Okay," I said. "You win. Let's go, Jeeves."

"It's Jasper," he said in an affronted tone. "I'd think you'd know that by now."

He was so convincing, it took me a second of embarrassment to figure out he was joking. Then I burst out laughing. "That's horrible."

"One horrible statement merits another. Let's go."

"Thank you," I said to the rest of them. "Sorry about, er, this. I hope you still play baseball!"

"Thank you. We hope you feel better," said Carlisle.

I allowed Jasper to lead me back to his car. As I got in, I asked, "So, about Maria getting here soon…is there any reason she'd…" I suddenly found it difficult to speak the fears that had been bouncing around my brain for the past minute or so, but he knew what I meant.

"I'd like to tell you that you have nothing to worry about," he said, "but I won't insult your intelligence. Yes, there is a reason she'd come after you. If she discovers that we've been spending so much time together, she may decide to kill two birds with one stone. Or rather, quench two desires with one human, if you know what I mean."

I knew what he meant. "Okay," I said. "So I should be sleeping with one eye open?"

"As if that would help," he said. "If she decided to destroy you, the only thing that could stop her would be one of us."

"So I'm screwed unless there happens to be a vampire around who doesn't want to kill me?"

I'd been hoping to get a smile from him, but he was too far gone. Times like these made me wish there was something I could do to keep him smiling all the time.

"I'll be here. I'll make sure that she stays away from you."

In the fading autumn light, the set of his scowl made him hard to doubt.

*

_Maria_. I hadn't heard that name for years. Before telling Alice my story, I hadn't said it since I arrived at the Cullen household. Had speaking about my past brought it back to haunt me?

I knew better than such superstitions. I hadn't thought about Maria in years. I'd assumed she was dead. It made sense that she would want revenge on me. Besides the fact that we'd shared…something, I practically created her army. When I left, it had probably dissolved. I thought she would have been killed.

Meeting her again wouldn't have been too troubling in other circumstances. I knew her nature. She would not have an advantage with numbers, so she would challenge me, one-on-one, and I would defeat her. My family felt more loyalty to me than I knew I felt to them, and they would help dispose of her allies if they were any trouble.

But Alice complicated things.

Maria was shrewd and cruel. She would find the chink in my armor. Maria could use Alice in a number of ways: kill her to hurt me, torture her and then kill her to achieve the same, use her to draw me into a situation of Maria's choosing. I cursed myself for putting Alice in danger and putting myself at a tactical disadvantage. It was the oldest trick in the book: your opponent's greatest weakness is the most vulnerable person he cares for. And I had begun care for Alice more than I'd ever cared for anyone.

I pulled up to her house. I could sense her dismay, mingled with disappointment and nearly overshadowed by fear. I guessed that dismay and disappointment were the direct effects of our ruined evening. The cause of the fear was obvious. I tried to ease it by pouring confidence into her to help her believe me when I said I would protect her.

I walked her to the door, my hand hovering behind her back. Though she had insisted she was fine, I could sense the exhaustion that was creeping up on her. Her aunt had heard us drive up, and she came to the door. Her emotions were dominated by worry that we were back so soon. I sent ease her way as well. I already had a story concocted that would keep her happy.

"Kids?" she said. "That was quick. Is everything okay?"

"We had a little accident," I said. "Nothing serious. Alice just tripped on our porch steps. She hit her head, but my dad examined her, and he said there's no damage."

"Oh, good," said Karen. Her anxiety level dropped dramatically at the mention of Carlisle. Not only was there parental supervision, but parental supervision with an MD.

"Anyway," I continued, "he thought it best if she took it easy."

"Please thank your father for me," Karen said. "Come on, Alice, I'll make you some tea."

"Could we, uh, have a moment?" I asked, trying to feign teenage awkwardness.

"Of course," said Karen, amusement now her predominant emotion. "I'll go start the kettle." She went back inside.

I cupped Alice's hands in my own. I was already better at resisting. Her scent was not overpowering anymore. It was still potent, but over the past few weeks, I'd become stronger than the urge. It gave me hope, something I'd never truly had and never realized I needed until now.

I was ready to reach farther.

She didn't make any move to speak. We were in a moment of perfect harmony. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. Speech was unnecessary.

Slowly, carefully, I pulled her closer to me. I freed her hands and wrapped my arms around her, encircling her tiny frame in my larger one. Her head reached the bottom of my chest. It was impossible to measure how long we stood there for. I was closer to her than I'd been to a human being in half a century. My bloodthirsty cravings were gone; all I wanted to do was hold her like this forever.

But our moment couldn't last that long. She seemed to realize it too, and we pulled away at the same time, though very slowly. She smiled, and I brushed my hand lightly along her cheekbone. Without another word, she opened the door and slipped into the house.

*

I was surprised not to find Aunt Karen standing at the door when I went in. True to her word, she was in the kitchen, making tea. I was in an almost dreamlike state. I floated to the kitchen and picked up the mug on the counter. "Can I just take this to my room?" I asked.

"I haven't put milk in it yet," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh." I looked down and saw that she was right. "I'll do it." I went to the fridge and grabbed the carton.

"That's the orange juice," said Karen. "You sure you're okay?"

I looked down at the container in my hand. "Yeah, yeah…" I said, and swapped the orange juice for the milk. I poured it into my tea and stirred until the liquid was a solid light brown. "It's been a weird afternoon."

"Uncle Pete and I are going out tonight," she said. "Mike's staying in. Since you're both going to be home, I think you need to have a talk with him when he gets back from the store."

"Yeah," I said. "I guess I should."

I took my tea upstairs and read for an hour, but when Karen called me down for the pizza Pete and Mike brought home, I couldn't remember a word of it. All I could think about was Jasper. The connection we'd had was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I was aware of Karen and Pete saying goodbye and saying they'd be home by eleven. Then it was just me and Mike alone in the house.

We ate in silence. After we were done, we stayed at the table. Neither of us wanted to start the conversation we knew we needed to have. I wasn't going to do it. I was the one who had been wronged. It was his job to apoligize to me.

After what felt like ages but was probably only five minutes, Mike spoke. "I'm sorry I yelled at you at school. It was stupid and immature."

I snorted. "I'll say."

He glared at me but continued. The words came out fast and frenzied. "I felt sort of frustrated because you knew I didn't like them and you always agreed with me that the whole family was snobby and awful and then as soon as he started paying attention to you everything changed and I felt betrayed and ignored because we haven't been together as much lately and you're ignoring everything I say about them and it's just really…argh!" He threw his hands in the air. "There," he said. "Now you know."

I contemplated his words. "So you felt a mixtrue of betrayal and jealousy?"

He nodded. "That's a good way to put it."

"We're alone tonight," I said. "You'll be so tired of me by the end of it, you'll be glad I'm spending time with Jasper."

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed hanging out with Mike until we sat down with a variety of snacks and starting watching _X-Men_ on TV. About a half hour into the movie, the doorbell rang. Since I still felt sort of sorry for Mike, I got the door.

"Jacob!" I said. "What are you doing here?"

"My dad is out with your parents, so I figured I'd ditch Quil and Embry and crash your party." He held up a sixpack of Mountain Dew. "_X-Men_?" he said, seeing Wolverine on the screen. "Excellent!"

The rest of the night was spent on our crowded couch, drinking Dew and becoming increasingly hyper from the sugar and caffeine. When the movie was over, we starting flipping channels until we landed on the show _Manswers_. It turns out that you can die of constipation, there's a spot on your head that when poked, will cause a brain anyeurism, and breast implants can withstand being hit with a baseball traveling 100mph. Aunt Karen and Uncle Pete came in during the segment about death by vending machine.

"Goodbye, Jacob," said Aunt Karen. "You two, bed, now." But she was smiling.

By the time I was upstairs, showered, and into my pajamas, the horrors of the beginning of the night were coming back to me. The vision of Maria was repeating in my head over and over again. I grabbed my book and tried to lose myself in its pages. I jumped when the window opened and feet hit the carpet with a soft thud. The book fell from my hands. A wave of calm immediately washed over me.

"You're a little on edge," said Jasper. "Sad. You were having so much fun with your friends."

"Do you climb through people's windows often?" I asked.

I probably should have been more embarassed about the situation—in bed, pajamas on, and Jasper standing in front of me—but I was only grateful for the peace he brought with him. Being alone was more difficult now.

"No, but it's much easier than coming to the door and having to explain why I want to talk to you privately at this time of night."

"Are you going to explain that to me?"

"I wanted to apologize for all this," he said. He came over and sat on the edge of my bed. "The danger I've put you in. When I spoke to you that first time, it was an exercise in control. If I could understand you, like you, I might be less likely to kill you. But I found that I enjoyed your company. I became fond of you. No, more than that. You feel…right." I could tell he was thinking of the last time we'd seen each other.

"I know what you mean," I said. "Weird, isn't it?"

"What in this situation is _normal?_"

We stayed there, for a moment, staring from either end of my bed. Neither of us was sure what to do yet. He was holding back. He still wasn't completely confident in himself around me.

Maybe he needed another push.

Even though I realized what a risk I was taking, and that it was possible my next movement would end in my death, I crawled forward on my bed. He froze, realizing what I was doing. He started to speak, but I held a finger to his lips. "Shh." He reached up and held my hand to his lips. His other hand snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my free arm around his neck and ran my hand through his hair. "You okay?" I whispered.

"Never better."

He moved our hands out of the way and kissed me. It wasn't like the first time, quick and frenzied. There was no burst of fireworks or rushing adrenaline. It was smoothe and perfect, like two melodies played at the same time that suddenly made more sense together than they ever had apart. My heartbeat was racing, but it added a sense of thrill and excitement.

Finally, he broke away. "That was probably one of the stupidest things you've ever done," he said.

"I know," I said. "Was it worth it?"

He smiled. "You should try to sleep. Do you want me to help you?"

"You can make me sleep?"

"It's just a matter of relaxing you to the point of exhaustion. And you haven't got far to go."

I nodded, and I could feel myself fading. He cradled me in his arms. "Am I going to wake up when you leave?" I asked.

"No," he said. "You don't have to worry about that."

He turned off the light and I drifted away.

I woke up under the covers, head on my pillow. For a wild moment, I was afraid he was gone—I was afraid to be alone. But when I opened my eyes and looked up, he was sitting on the end of my bed, reading the book I'd discarded. "I have to say, your taste in literature is disappointing," he said. "Of course, this hardly counts as literature. I'm surpised someone agreed to print this at all."

"You know," I said, "I usually find that people who feel superior because they read 'good books' have self-esteem issues so that they _need_ to find something to feel good about."

He chuckled. "I don't feel superior. I just think you ought to devote your time to something that won't rot your brain."

"If you don't like it, you don't have to read it."

"Would you prefer it if I had just watched you sleep all night?"

I was silent for a moment, comtemplating the idea of someone watching me sleep. "Do I snore?"

"Like a pig," he joked. "No, but you do make some strange noises. Incoherent syllables. Like your own little dream language."

I ran a hand through my short hair. "What time is it?" I looked at the clock on my night stand. "8:45? Seriously?" I fell back onto my pillows. "Why am I awake? It's so early!" I sat up and eyed him suspiciously. "Did you—"

"No!" he said. "I may not have slept in more than a century, but I know better than to wake up a teenager."

"How would you figure that out?"

"By being an empath in a school full of teens forced to get up before they're ready," he said.

"True," I said, and got up. "I need to shower. Be back soon."

The hot water cleared the last vestiges of sleep from my body. My thoughts turned back to the day before—was it only yesterday? It felt like a million years ago. I wondered if Maria was in Forks yet. Would she track Jasper here? Could she be just outside the window?

I was overcome with the need not to be alone.

I rushed feverishly through the rest of my shower and dressed in the clothes I'd brought in with me. I had to keep myself from running back to my bedroom, to see him and feel safe again.

He must not have felt my anxiety until I reached my room. "I'm so sorry," he said, sending me a wave of calm. He was sitting exactly where I left him. "I was trying to sense if she was here yet." My anxiety flared back up, and he squashed it. "I mean in the area. Not here. I won't let her get that close."

"So what now?" I asked.

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. The best way to make sure you aren't implicated is the stay away from you. But staying away from you puts you in more danger because then if she _does_ find you for any reason, there's no one to protect you. So I don't want to leave you alone."

That plan was good with me.

"If Maria can get you, she'll use you against me," he said. "So the easiest course of action is to make sure she can't get to you. Which means we should get going."

"Going?" I asked.

"To my house," he said. "Seven vampires are better than one."

* * *

Do I even have to say it? Okay, I will. Reviews. Make. Me. Happy. Even happier than puppies. And puppies make me _really_ happy.


	11. Chapter 9

Save your torches and pitchforks for the bottom of the page. Let's get this chapter read and then we'll talk at the end.

* * *

It wasn't hard to convince Karen and Pete to let me go out. Jasper was just outside, making them feel really good about me leaving the house at nine in the morning to go to his place. We figured honesty was the best policy.

Jasper had parked his car down the street. Karen and Pete didn't know where the Cullens lived, and I just told them that it was "walkable." Which his car was. Even in my super-calm state, courtesy of Jasper, I wasn't comfortable with his need for speed. He cooperated, though it was obvious he wanted to get to a safer location ASAP.

We were driving through that stretch of woods between Forks proper and the Cullen residence, going the speed limit of forty. I stared out at the trees, but then they weren't there.

_A gold car zooms down a forested road. Three pale shapes dart out and knock it to the side—_

"Jasper!" I cried. "Go faster!" Could we outrun them? But he must have sensed them, because he'd already sped up. I didn't look at the speedometer, but I prayed that my vision wouldn't come true. Because at the speed we were going, a crash would kill me.

"They're going to knock the car off the road," I said. I tried to keep myself under control. There was no way I was going to let him waste concentration on making me feel better. "I saw it."

He understood what I meant. "Alice," he said evenly, "here's what we're going to do. They're a few miles ahead, waiting for us. We're going to jump out the door and run to the house. All you have to do is keep still. Clear?"

"Yes," I said.

"Okay," he said, "here goes." He eased himself out of the driver's seat and unbuckled my seatbelt. He lifted me into his lap and put himself in the passenger seat. The car was still going straight on the road. "One…two…three." He opened the door and launched us out. He wrapped me in his body, providing a cage of stability. He rolled along the ground and into the woods. I bashed into his hard body, but I didn't feel anything break. And I was more alive than I would have been otherwise.

We didn't roll for long. He gained his feet and kept going, running faster than I would have believed possible. Now I understood the need for speed.

In what seemed like seconds the white house appeared up ahead. I almost cried with relief. We had to make it. We couldn't be so close and not make it. We were so close.

Jasper ran through the door as though it were made of tissue paper. He skidded to a stop in front of his family, who were tensed and waiting for him.

"Thanks for the back-up," Jasper said. He put me down and pushed me slightly behind him. I kept a death grip on his hand.

"You were going to make it," said Edward. "This is going to be easier to handle. We might only need intimidation to make them back down."

Edward looked confident in his statement, as did Esme, but the others were not. Carlisle and Bella were skeptical, and Rosalie looked downright scornful. Emmett just rolled his eyes. Jasper still looked furious, but in a moment his gaze was turned to the front of the house, where three people were ascending the porch.

They were just as I had seen them: pale as chalk and breathtakingly beautiful. At least, the women were. The man was sort of on the human scale of attractiveness. One of the women was tall with fiery red hair, while the other was small, almost a girl, with black hair.

Maria.

She ignored Jasper and addressed the rest of the Cullens. "I'm sorry to intrude," she said, her voice childish like her features. "My name is Maria, and these are my companions, James and Victoria."

"I am Carlisle Cullen," said Carlisle. He stepped up next to us. "Please explain why you found it necessary to pursue my son in our territory."

Her nostrils flared. "We are old acquaintances with unfinished business." She looked back to Jasper.

"Jasper Whitlock. I've heard the strangest things about you. That you were drinking _animal_ blood. Living among humans." She grimaced, as though the very though disgusted her. "I was sure that it must be someone else. The Jasper I knew would never be able to abstain. Yet here you are, with golden eyes and a human in your arms." She laughed, and it sent chills up my spine.

Jasper growled at her. "Go back to where you came from."

She smiled at him humorlessly. "That's the thing, Jasper. I can't go back south. I lost everything when you left me."

"Somehow you managed before I came along," he said.

"You gave me power. I have more enemies now than I did before. Enemies who nearly destroyed me, thanks to you."

"Why did you come here?" Jasper asked.

"Revenge," she said simply. She addressed Carlisle. "I have no quarrel with the rest of you," she said. "If you allow Jasper and I to handle this on our own, I will leave your territory in peace."

"But you do have a quarrel with us." Rosalie made her way forward. "You killed Irina."

"Excuse me?" said Maria.

"We know how you discovered Jasper's whereabouts. You killed one of our very close friends."

Maria laughed. "Close friends? There are no friends in our world. Feeding on animals must make you weaker."

Rosalie snarled and crouched into a fighting stance.

"If you leave now, this does not need to come to violence," said Carlisle. "But if you persist, we will protect our territory."

Maria pursed her lips. She knew the odds were against her. "Jasper, this is our battle. Let's settle this ourselves."

"You made it their battle when you killed Irina," he said.

"Are you afraid to fight me?" she jeered. "Are you happy to use this as an excuse?"

"You're just a pathetic little girl with a grudge. Leave us be."

She sneered. "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper," she said dangerously. "What happened to the pragmatist I knew so well? Not such a good idea to just dismiss me, when you spend your time with something so fragile. Quite a tactical disadvantage."

Jasper growled. "Fine."

We both saw the irony in it. For years, he'd been the biggest threat to my life. Now he was defending me.

"You better win," I whispered. "Or I'll be kind of angry."

He smiled, but it wasn't his real smile. It was the old, hurt-on-the-inside smile, the one I hadn't seen in a while. I hated that it was back.

"I love you," he said.

My breath caught in my throat. I hadn't truly known him for very long, yet I felt like we were meant to be. Like it didn't matter how long I knew him; I'd always feel this way. And then I realized he might have chosen this moment to voice his feelings because he wasn't sure he'd have another chance.

"I love you," I said.

He kissed me briefly, but it was enough.

The porch was determined as neutral territory. The Cullens stood around me on one side, and James and Victoria stood on the other. Bella put her stony arm around me. "Don't worry," she said. "I've seen Jasper in action. He's unstoppable."

Jasper and Maria faced each other on the meadow that was the lawn. I desperately willed myself to see the outcome of the fight. I concentrated on Jasper. I concentrated on Maria. I tried to force my mind to jump forward, but it seemed that my gift could not be commanded.

There was no bell or whistle. One moment, Jasper and Maria were standing on opposite sides of the meadow. The next, they were a white blur, clashing in the cloudy morning light. The sounds of impact reverberated around the hills. Some small, detached part of my wondered what the people in the area must think was happening.

The sun made a rare appearance. All around me, the vampires shown like diamonds with millions of facets. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen; the meadow was lit up like a prism. I understood what Jasper meant by their skin attracting attention in the sun.

I couldn't follow the fight at all. The speed at which they moved was unbelievable. The first time they broke apart, it was for barely a second. I only knew they had separated because I saw two white blurs instead of one. I might as well have watched the porch railing. But I couldn't look away.

The only indications of the status of the battle were the reactions of the vampires around me. Esme gasped. Rosalie growled. Edward chuckled. Bella's arm tightened. I didn't look at Maria's companions.

The blur seemed to go on forever. Part of me wanted it just to end. But then I remembered that an ending meant a final loser.

After what felt like hours, Edward bent down and said quietly, "He's out-doing her, and she knows it. She can't win, and she's trying to find a way out."

It was as though his comment triggered my second sight. All of Maria's possibilities flooded my mind, until I couldn't even see the actual fight. She fled to the forest, but he pursued her. She threw a car on him to buy time, but it didn't work. She ran to the porch and tried to grab me, but the Cullens got in the way _and_ got into the fight.

She signaled Victoria and James.

I saw it on two planes, one happening just before the other. On the first, I could see what just a blur was previously. They vaulted over the railing and joined her in a triple attack on Jasper.

The vision became a garbled mash of movement and sound. All the different possibilities changed as each fighter considered the next move. All of the Cullens except Bella and Esme joined the melee, confusing things further. They were moving too fast. My sight couldn't keep up. I fell to the porch, clutching my head. Someone called my name, but I didn't know who. My mind leaped into overdrive. It was like a car going eighty towards a brick wall: a crash was imminent.

I was grateful when the chaos dissolved into darkness.

* * *

So...it seems that the long-update period is a chronic flaw of fanfiction writers; it's impossible to avoid. Between school becoming harder than it's ever been and unexpected family tragedy, I lost the inclination to worry about how my fanfictions were being received or how long since my last update. Sometimes the real world grabs you and hauls you back on board whether you want to go or not.

Basically, what I'm saying is that while I'm not giving up on this story in the middle of the climax, it might take a long, *official* hiatus once Part I is wrapped up. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it together fairly soon.

Also sorry that this chapter's kind of short; I just don't have the energy to do more right now, and I kind of like this as a stopping point :)


	12. Chapter 10

See? I promised I wasn't gonna be months between updates!

* * *

I had her, and she knew it. My fighting style had changed over the years, but her's had not. I could predict her every move. Even when she changed the game, I wasn't worried. It wasn't three against one for long.

I kept Maria engaged, making sure that she couldn't break away. She pulled backwards and forwards, trying to force someone else between us. She knew she was doomed. I could taste her frustration.

Then everything went wrong.

A bomb exploded in my senses. I felt pain like I hadn't felt since my transformation. My head was certain to explode. I fought it, attempted to control it. I searched for the source.

It was Alice.

I wasn't distracted for very long, but it was long enough. In the moments of pain and revelation, Maria darted away. I looked around wildly, trying to fight the torment and see where she had gone. Abruptly, my head was clear again. Alice must have slipped into unconciousness. But that was the least of our problems. Maria had indeed taken advantage of my distraction. She used the time as I would have: to stab me in my Achilles heel.

She had Alice.

The scene froze. Edward and Emmett looked up from where they were dismembering James. Victoria, who had held her own against Rosalie and Carlisle, fled, but no one cared. Esme and Bella, empty handed on the porch, stared in horror. I stopped breathing.

Maria stood across the meadow. Alice was draped limply in her arms. "Not a step closer, any of you, or she dies. Or maybe I'll just give her a little scrape and let you do the job. I've never known you to resist fresh blood." She breathed deeply. "I can barely stand it."

I flinched. Every fiber of my being itched to destroy her, to rip her apart, to make her pay in every way possible. My desire to get Alice away from the littlemonster almost overcame my common sense. Maria didn't miss the gesture.

"Come on, Jasper," she said. "Do you think you're fast enough?"

I said nothing.

"Here's what is going to happen," she said. "I'm going to take her for a little trip. You're going to wait an hour and a half. Then you can search for her. If you're lucky, she might even be alive when you find her. I can't make any promises." She grinned joylessly. "Don't start early. I'll know. And don't worry," she added. "You'll see me again real soon. You can bet on that."

She turned and ran into the forest. I watched until they had disappeared. I knew in my frozen heart, still for a hundred and forty-one years, that Alice was as good as dead. If I did nothing, Maria would most likely kill Alice when she felt safe enough. I could not think of a scenario where Maria, filled with hatred, would let the person I love the most live another hour. But if I went after them, she would kill Alice on the spot. There was no way out. No way to win. It was over.

"She's not going to kill Alice."

I turned to see Edward next to me. A fire was burning behind us. James was no more. "What?" I asked.

"It's not strategically intelligent," he said. "If Maria kills Alice, you'll have nothing to keep you from chasing her. She doesn't like the idea of being the hunted."

I gaped at him. "Did you—did you hear this? Are you sure?"

He nodded. "She believes you'll feel obligated to stay with Alice instead of pursuing her immediately. At least, she hopes so. She's betting that what happened to Alice is serious enough to keep you distracted for a while."

"What did happen?" I asked. "Why?"

"It was her visions," said Edward. "She couldn't keep up with vampire speed. She sees the future as decisions are made. Our minds, especially while engaged in battle, are too fast for her to handle. Her brain couldn't take it. All we can hope for is that she went unconcious before any real damage could be done."

"So even if Maria doesn't kill her, she still might die?"

He put a hand on my shoulder. "Some things we can't control. What happens to her brain is one of them."

When you live for hundreds of years and move as fast as light, things like hours and minutes tend to go faster. What's an hour and a half in the grand scheme of things? It's not that long at all.

That morning, it was. Every second was a day, every minute a year. I stood exactly in the same spot, afraid to move even an inch. I would not give Maria a reason to kill Alice.

The others stayed away, for the most part. Rosalie was upset that Victoria was gone; she still wanted to avenge Irina. Emmett was trying to calm her. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Bella would come over every once in a while. A pat on the shoulder here, a word of encouragement there. Still the minutes dragged on. I felt as though I'd lived another lifetime. All I wanted was to know that Edward was right, and that Alice was safe.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"There might be blood."

A tiny shiver of excitement ran through me, but I was stronger than it. _I can do it. After all of this, I can handle it._

I sped forward, running faster than I'd ever run before. Alice's scent, mingled with Maria's, was still strong, heading east. I kept on course easily. Maria's trail changed very little, but Alice's scent grew stronger and stronger. Time finally moved at the right pace; it wasn't long before I could hear her breathing, her heartbeat. I burst through the trees into a tiny clearing with a large boulder in the center. Alice lay draped over it. She was still unconscious, but she was alive. I couldn't detect any physical injuries. Despite Edward's reassurances and the logic behind them, even after following the sound of her heartbeat, I hadn't really been sure she was alive until I saw her in front of me.

There were words carved into the boulder. I'll be watching. But that didn't matter to me then. All that mattered was getting Alice home. I picked her up gingerly, trying not to damage her. Though all of my attention was focused on her, I allowed myself one promise: before a year had passed, Maria would be dead.

*

The hospital room was standard: adjustable bed, white walls with neutral accents, three chairs with cracked plastic cushions. For the first time in a week, I was dressed in normal clothes. It was a moment of rare solitude. Karen was getting the car. Jasper was hunting. I sat on the bed. Being alone made me nervous. Not because I was scared of Maria returning, as Jasper assumed. The truth was, every time Jasper left me, I was afraid he wouldn't come back.

In the six days since I'd regained consciousness, it had become increasingly obvious how much Jasper thirsted for revenge. I'd known it since he told me what happened after I blacked out. He was conflicted. On the one hand, he wanted to stay with me and watch over me. Yet at the same time, he couldn't just sit and wait for Maria to come back on her terms. He wanted to hunt her down.

The day of departure was growing nearer. As soon as Carlisle had pronounced me recovered from my "seizure," apparently a freak accident that would probably never happen again, I'd felt the time limit hanging over us. When Jasper felt comfortable leaving me, he would.

A tell-tale ease washed over me. I closed my eyes. "Hey."

The bed next to me gave under his weight, and I slid closer to him. He put an arm around my shoulder. "Not thinking about her, are you?"

"Not really." Which was true.

"She won't be causing trouble for a while."

"She's done enough," I said. Something about my tone alerted him, and he pulled away to look at my face. I opened my eyes and took in his perfection. How much longer would I be able to see him?

"You're not scared because of Maria," he said.

"No," I said. "It's you that worries me."

I had barely blinked before he was off the bed and on the other side of the room. "No!" I cried. "I didn't mean—I'm not scared _of_ you."

"What do you mean?" he asked, but I saw the realization dawning.

"I can tell you want to leave. I'm afraid because you're going after her."

He didn't correct me. "You're aunt is waiting. It's time to go home." He planned to leave. Perhaps as soon as possible. The deadline felt closer than ever.

I put my head in my hands. "When are you leaving?"

He came back over and lifted me off the bed. "Not now," he said. "Let's go."

Even though he was with me, I felt further from him than ever.

* * *

So I'm sorry the past couple chapters have been kind of short. I can't help it if there are good stopping points! The next one will probably be monstrously long, and it might even be the last...for now.

Reviews are always loved and appreciated!


	13. Chapter 11

Look! An update! And it's actually kind of long!

* * *

The next few months were ridiculously normal. Despite my worries, nothing had changed between me and Jasper. If anything, life got better. Jasper's control improved by the day. I managed to juggle junior year, friends, and Jasper. I started looking at colleges seriously. Jasper was "taking a year off" before heading to Dartmouth, apparently for the second time. I was glad. It wouldn't have surprised me if he'd used college as an excuse to go after Maria. He was becoming increasingly irritated, as though she were an itch he couldn't reach. He tried not to let it show, but I knew. I didn't ask about his plans again, though, and he pretended there were none, but we both felt it hovering over us.

That summer, I got the official invitation to Dad's wedding. It was being held at Sally's parents' house. Weird, considering she was at least in her late thirties. They lived in some mansion in the suburbs. I thought of the vision I'd had months ago, of the garden and Jasper. It gave me hope that he wouldn't have left by then, or he would at least be back.

Dad called the next day and asked me to come down. Apparently, preparations were beginning. There was going to be a big Fourth of July party where Dad's family would meet Sally's.

"Um, do I get a plus one for the wedding?" I asked.

"Karen and Pete and Mike are invited," he said.

"Oh, I know, I was just wondering if I could bring my, uh, my boyfriend." Silence on the other end. Next to me, Jasper smiled and squeezed my hand. "You don't really have to," he whispered. "I don't have to be there to keep an eye on you."

"I want to," I said to him. I wanted him to stay. "Dad?" I said into the phone. "You still there?"

"No problem. Bring your boyfriend." He sounded terse.

What I wanted to say was, "Don't go all protective father on me as if you have the right to." What I actually said was, "Thanks. Can he come with me next month?"

I was pushing it, and he knew I was aware of it. I wondered if he thought I was doing it to bother him. I wondered if I was.

"Sure," was all he said. "The more the merrier."

Jasper was helping me pack a few weeks later when I asked him, "Will you be okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the airplane. Being in a contained area for six hours with a hundred other humans and no escape is hard for some people who don't even crave blood. And you told Edward not to come."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I'm not looking forward to it, but I think I'll manage. If it gets to be too much, I'll just jump out of the plane." He grinned, but I had a horrible feeling he wasn't kidding.

Despite my fears, it turned out that I was the one having plane issues. It was the waiting. First we had to drive to the airport. Then we had to wait in line for security. Then we had to wait at the gate. Then we had to wait on the tarmac. By the time we were up in the air, my nerves were ready to break.

Jasper was giving me some peace, but I knew he was holding back. Being in first class (courtesy of the Cullens) wasn't making me any more comfortable. "Can't you just put me to sleep or something?" I asked after about fifteen minutes in the air.

"That's a bad habit," he said. "Everyone else has to just deal with their emotions."

"So I really shouldn't waste my advantage."

He leaned in, hesitated in the way I was used to, and put his lips to mine. The kissing distracted me for a minute, but he eventually broke away, and I knew we couldn't just kiss for four hours anyway. "You know that if your brain were even close to imploding, I would have you out like a light. You'll be fine. Trust me." He leaned back into his seat and wrapped his hand around mine. I sighed and pouted at him. He smiled.

Somehow, I made it through the flight, and then time moved too fast. We were in the front of the plane, so we were the first off. I took small steps coming out. Every step brought me closer to that point beyond security, where my dad was waiting. I wasn't ready. I couldn't face him.

Jasper squeezed my hand. "You can do this. I know you can."

I grimaced, but I steeled myself. He was right. I had to face my father some time.

There was a final moment of blessed confusion when we stepped out of the alley between the wall and security. There were so many people waiting that it was easy to glance around and miss him the first time. I had time for a mixed feeling of relief and disappointment that he wasn't there. A second look was all it took to pinpoint him, and the same mixed feeling swept through.

He didn't see me at first. There were too many people between us, and I didn't exactly stand out in a crowd. I had an extra few yards to prepare myself. He had brought Sally along; I recognized her from the picture. Even if I'd never seen her before, it would have been obvious from the way she was hanging on him. She was on her tiptoes, looking around in an excited way that I hoped very much was contrived. He hadn't changed one bit.

He looked up, and our eyes met. His widened in shock. He raised his hand and made a very small wave. A shriek rang out.

"Johnny, is that _her?_"

I winced a little. Johnny?

She towed him forward. "Just look at you! I'd been expecting an older version of Cynthia, but you are something different, aren't you?" She grabbed my shoulders and pecked me on both cheeks. "I'm Sally, in case you haven't realized."

I smiled in a way that I hoped looked sincere and said, "I've realized."

She leaned back. "Oh my, I was in such a rush to meet you, I've totally gotten in between you and your dad! You must be anxious to see each other." Before I could respond, she swung me around to face him.

We stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Dad took a long look at me, and a few not so short looks at Jasper behind me. Sally stood there next to us. She seemed to be waiting for us to tearfully embrace or something.

I dropped my fake smile and looked at him seriously. I tried to convey without speaking that I didn't forget anything, and I was still mad, but that I was willing to forgive him if he would admit to what he'd done, so it was his move. It was a lot to say in a look, and I'm pretty sure that I was just scowling. The pause made Sally's expectant smile droop a little.

"You've—you've grown up," he said finally.

"It's been known to happen," I said.

"Yes, well, it's, um, it's good to see you. Been too long." He stepped forward. His arms sort of flapped up from his sides, then down again. It was as though he wanted to hug me, but wasn't sure if he was allowed.

I wasn't sure either.

He coughed, then gestured at Jasper. "This is your, uh, boyfriend, then?"

"Yes," I said. "This is Jasper Hale. Jasper, this is my dad and his fiance, Sally."

Jasper put out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir, ma'am. Thank you so much for hosting me." My perfect Southern gentleman. He shook their hands.

"It's our pleasure, really," said Sally. "Do you have all your things?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well then let's get going!"

It was on the ride from the airport that I realized why Dad had brought Sally. She didn't shut up, yet she somehow made me talk more than I'd ever talked about myself. Maybe he knew it would be easier to listen to me tell Sally about my life in Forks than to try and talk to me himself. Typical Dad.

She made Jasper talk, too. Through her drilling, I learned the extent of the Cullen adoption cover story. It wasn't something I'd ever questioned very far, but it was actually very interesting.

"Rosalie and I never had much to do with Uncle Carlisle's side of the family. Mom died when we were so young, and Dad's family didn't get along with them so well. And, well, after the alcoholism got him, we were just happy to go anywhere that they didn't drink."

Sally shook her head. "That is just tragic. It is amazing that you turned out so nice."

"It's really thanks to Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme. They're great parents."

"They must be, to take in so many children. What happened with the other girl? She was your aunt's goddaughter, you said?"

"Yes, Aunt Esme was her mother's childhood friend. When she couldn't pay the bills anymore, she asked Esme to raise her baby."

Sally was appalled. "But what about the father?"

"Bella's mother said she didn't know who it was, but Aunt Esme says that she seemed to not want him around."

"Ah." Sally nodded wisely. "I see. What ever happened to the mother? Did she ever come to visit Bella?"

Jasper shrugged uncomfortably. "She's been missing for almost twelve years. They don't like to talk about it." He made it clear that he didn't want to talk about it anymore either. I almost laughed at how good he was at acting.

"Oh, well, that's so sad," said Sally, rather flustered. She changed the subject to Edward and Emmett, the "foster boys." She sighed in amazement as Jasper told her about the two tough little boys that the Cullens, despite the other three children, had been determined to set right. By the end of it, Sally was dabbing her eyes.

"It's just so amazing, that they did so much for all of you," she said. "I only wish that John and I could be so good."

Dad grunted in agreement, and said, "We're about here." We were driving right to Sally's parents' house for dinner. Cynthia was already there.

I leaned in to Jasper and whispered quietly enough for only him to hear, "You forgot to mention how all the 'tragic orphans' hooked up with each other."

He laughed quietly. "I'm trying to make a good first impression."

We pulled into a community full of big, modern houses. It was one of those developments with a name: "Birchwood." The only difference between the houses was the color scheme. We pulled into the driveway of a white house with beige accents and a dark blue door. There were already four cars in the large driveway.

"We're here!" said Sally in a sing-song voice. We got out of the car and walked to the front door. Sally opened it and called again, "We're here!"

From beyond the entryway, someone with a similar voice called back. "Come on back!"

Before we could go very far, a little black-haired head poked around the corner. "Alice!" shreiked a high-pitched voice. Cynthia ran down the hall and crashed into me. Her head came up to my nose. "Oh Alice, I'm so glad you're back! We've missed you! I would have come to see you, but I'm not allowed to fly by myself, and Dad—" She stopped short, realizing that this was not the time, and looked up at Jasper next to me. "Is that your boyfriend?"

I let go of her and said. "Yes, this is Jasper Hale. Jasper, this is my little sister Cynthia."

"Hi, Cynthia," said Jasper.

Another head, this one wrinkled with a close-cropped head of white hair, appeared in the hallway. "Enough dilly-dallying! Come back here now!"

"Okay, Mom," said Sally. She started back. "I'm so excited to introduce you to everyone," she said to me.

She led us down the hall into a large, granite-topped, stainless steel, cherry wood kitchen that was absolutely crammed with people. I recognized none of them. The woman, Sally's mom, I supposed, rushed forward in the same way as her daughter had.

"Oh, this just _can't_ be Alice!" she cried. "We've all been dying to meet you! I'm Lucy, and this is my husband Bill," an older man saluted me from the kitchen table, "and his sister Crissy, and her husband Ted, and their son Frank—"

Thus began the string of Sally's five aunts, four uncles, twelve cousins of various ages, three sisters, two sisters' husbands, and three nephews. I was completely lost in a sea of smiles and shrieks and awkward hugs and handshakes. I wasn't used to so many people; my dad was an only child whose parents died when I was a baby, and my mom only had Karen.

It finally ended when Cynthia grabbed my arm and towed me into the backyard. "Thanks," I said when the door closed behind us.

"No problemo," she said. "I wish you'd been around when _I_ first met them. You think they'd never seen a kid before!" She looked just like her picture. I realized that my twelve-year-old sister was prettier than me. By a _lot_. It was a stange feeling.

She brought me through the patio, past the pool, and behind the toolshed. There was a little patch of grass between it and the fence. She slumped down with her back to the shed. I sat across from her against the fence. We stared at each other, remembering the last time we'd been alone together.

"_Alice? Can you stay? Please?"_

_I put another pair of shoes in my suitcase. It's almost full, and my room is almost empty. The posters, pictures, and books have disappeared. Only a few things remain in the closet. "No, Cyn," I say. _

"_But…" Her lips quiver. "Can't you stay for a little longer? I don't like both of you being gone." We both know who else she's referring to. I think, _If it wasn't for him, neither of us would be_, but I don't say it. I don't want to get angry in front of her, and I don't want her to be angry with him. _

"_I'm not gone," I say. "It's not the same. You can call me, maybe even visit me."_

"_Please don't go. Don't leave me alone."_

"_You're not alone. You have Dad."_

"_Why don't you call him Daddy anymore? That's so weird."_

"_I don't know." But I do. _

"_If I can't have Mommy, can't I at least have you?"_

_I can't keep from crying. She runs over and hugs me. "See? This is why we need each other. For hugs."_

_For a moment, I want to stay. But then I remember why I'm crying, why I need a hug, why Cynthia feels alone, and the rage boils up, choking me. I can't stand it. _

"_I'm okay," I say. "We'll both be fine."_

"_I won't," she says._

"_You will." I break away. I have everything I need. I zip the suitcase and heave it off the bed. "I've got to go," I say. "Aunt Karen's waiting for me."_

"_Please, Alice. I need you."_

_I hug her tightly and shove my guilt away. I've made my decision. I walk out, leaving behind the empty room and the little sister._

"The house was so quiet with just the two of us," she said. "Dad would just sit in the basement all day. I couldn't understand why you left. He didn't do anything. I didn't get why you were so angry that you couldn't stay with me."

My face was burning with guilt. "It's not what he did," I said. "It's what he didn't do. If he wasn't so—"

"I don't want to hear it!" she said, and I jumped a bit. She'd never spoken that way before. Not when I was around. "Do you think he wanted her to die?"

"That's not what I mean," I said.

"He made a mistake. We all wish he hadn't, but he did, and hating each other and moving away won't bring Mommy back! She would have hated this. She loved all of us."

"Their marriage was failing," I said. "Because of me. Dad thought I should be on meds or something, and Mommy argued with him about it. She told Aunt Karen to watch out for me in case something happened to her because she didn't trust him with me."

Cynthia looked like she'd been slapped. "I don't remember that at all."

"You wouldn't. You were barely nine."

"Mommy _wanted_ you to leave?"

I shrugged. "She didn't trust Dad. And I hated him."

"You said you wished he was dead."

"He wouldn't accept it. He still didn't believe me, even after it came true."

"He was grieving!" she cried. "And so were you! You can't mean what you said."

"I don't know if I mean it now," I said, "I but I did then."

She shook her head at me. "He's changed," she said. "Maybe he'll understand now. You have to talk to him."

"That's what I'm here for."

We sat in silence for a few more seconds, though it felt longer. "Are you staying?" she asked. It was obvious what she meant.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have a life in Forks. I have friends and…"

"And Jasper?" she asked. I nodded. "Would you want to have Mommy back if it meant you never met him?"

"I don't know." And I didn't.

I knew Cynthia was still mad at me for leaving her, but somewhere in our serious conversation, reconciliation had been reached. Or at least, it would be once I had a similar talk with Dad. That was the price of sisterhood.

Despite that, we got along well for the rest of the night. Jasper looked fairly miserable, for which I was sorry, especially when he ate dinner with the rest of the clan.

"You don't have to eat that," I whispered to him. "I'm sure you can fake it or say you're allergic or something."

"It's no trouble," he said, and took a bite of chicken. His closed eyes might look to others like he was savoring the barbecue, but I knew better.

Hours of chatting later, Sally finally announced that her family was far too aggressive and had worn me and Jasper out, and it was time for us to go. The drive became increasingly familiar as we began to pass the houses and stores I'd seen for most of my life. There was Tessa Greenberg's house, where I'd had my first playdate. There was my old elementary school. There was the playground where Cynthia had fallen off the swings. Every street held a memory.

And there was my neighborhood. We turned in, and I stared at the second house on the right, the one with white stucco and blue paint and a dogwood tree next to the mailbox. My house.

Everything started to take on a surreal quality. The house was exactly the same. Dad and Cynthia had changed nothing in the time I'd been gone. No paint was different, no furniture was gone; even the television and the computer where the same ones I had used. The floors even squeaked the same way.

My room was the biggest shock. I'd been expecting it to be used for storage or an office or something, but it was untouched. And by untouched, I mean probably not opened for two and a half years. Someone had dusted, but that was it. Everything I'd left behind was exactly where I'd left it; books were strewn about, flip-flops lay discarded in a heap, and my bed looked as though I'd just gotten out of it. There was a shattered picture frame on the ground. I remembered that. It was a picture of me, Dad, and Cynthia, taken by Mom at a baseball game. I'd stomped on it after the argument and left it in the center of the room, hoping he'd find it. It was concrete proof of our turmoil. I wondered what Sally had made of it; I assumed she'd been the one to get rid of the dust.

I stepped around it as though it wasn't there and put my bag on the floor next to my bed. In a weird way, it felt right to be here. I'd spent fourteen years making this room completely mine, and it still was.

Jasper came in. He was staying in the guest room, down the hall. Dad, Sally, and Cynthia had retreated to let us get some rest. Jasper looked at the picture frame. "Remind me not to get on your bad side," he said.

"As if you could break like that," I said. All the familiarity was starting to irritate me. I didn't want this to feel like home. How could it still feel right, even with a strange woman next to my dad and Jasper in the guest room?

"I'm just saying, if you can commit that kind of atrocity on an inanimate object, I shudder to think what you would do to the target of your rage."

"Don't be stupid. You've seen that." I could feel my mood worsening. What was the point of a boyfriend who controlled emotions if he let me feel this crappy?

"Alice," he said, "you have to handle your own feelings."

"What does it matter? If you're here, why should I?" I could hear the petulance in my own voice, but I couldn't stop.

He crossed over to me. "Because you don't need me for that," he said.

I knew he wasn't trying to be condescending, but my irritation spiked at his tone. Before I could protest again, he cut me off. "Alice, I know what you're feeling, but I'm not a mind-reader, so please, just _talk_ to me about it."

"I don't want to talk about it!" I said. "I'm jet lagged. I want to go to sleep."

He raised his eyebrows. "It's three hours earlier on the west coast than it is here."

"Can you just _go away?_"

"Alice—"

"Go!"

He threw up his hands. "Fine. Maybe you are just tired." Neither of us believed it.

When he left, I collapsed on the bed. The quilt had been made for me by my dad's mother when I was a baby. He used to tell me the story often. He'd asked her why she'd made a full-sized quilt for a baby. She'd said a baby quilt wouldn't fit me for very long. Dad joked that she could just make me another one. Her only response was a wink and a nod. She'd died just a few months after of a stroke.

I wondered: what if Grandma had my gift? Did she know she was going to die? I knew I was over-analyzing; lots of grandparents don't expect to see their grandkids grow up. I flipped over and looked at the quilt. It looked the same as it always had: a multi-colored diamond pattern, repeated over and over. Did I expect that she'd sown secret solutions to my future problems into the design? I buried my face in it. I decided to take it back to Forks with me. I'd left it here because I thought it would remind me of Dad, but I realized that it's all Grandma. Would things be different if she had survived to this day? So many things in my life were the products of if's and could-have-been's…

_The boy crouches in the road. His coppery skin is washed out by the moonlight sifting through the trees. He is naked and shivering, but sweat glistens on his back. He grunts and moans. A girl's voice calls out. "Sam!" She is panicked, crashing through the trees nearby. "Sam, please, where—" She breaks through the forest and halts on the asphalt. "Sam?" she whispers._

_He shudders and turns away. "No."_

_Brown eyes become red; skin pales; dark hair frames an angelic face; she smiles. "You didn't think I'd just given up, did you?"_

I woke with a start, choking my scream in the pillow. The room was too dark. I fumbled for the lamp, but it clicked on before I reached it. I jumped and almost cried out.

Jasper put his hands on my shoulders. "What did you see?"

I gasped and as tears begin to fall. "I don't know…a boy in pain, and a girl who's looking for him, but I don't know them, and I don't understand…And then he turned into—into Maria, and she said—she said that she hadn't given up, and I don't know if that was just a dream, or if—if—" The idea of Maria returning scared me more than anything else in the world.

He pulled me into a hug. "She's not going to come anywhere near you. Not until I'm ashes on the ground."

Our argument was forgotten, or at the very least ignored. I decided that it would be my mission in the next two days to get Dad alone and talk it out with him.

Unfortunately for my plan, he seemed to have other ideas. I began to see that he had changed. My old dad was powerful, commanding, and eager to give his opinion on any and every subject. Now he was more reserved, content to stand next to Sally and let her do the talking. That was exactly what he did for the rest of my time there. They were glued at the hip. The only time they split was on Sunday afternoon, a few hours before my flight home, when Sally asked to have "girl time" between us.

Cynthia was at a tennis lesson, and Dad slipped out to watch baseball. Jasper was with him, trying to be a good boyfriend or something. I agreed to help Sally with food for the wedding. Menus from seven different caterers were spread out across the dining room table.

"Well," said Sally, looking over one list, "I think we can cross out Court Gourmet. I want a nice wedding, but I also want to be able to eat for the rest of my life." She laughed. I nodded and smiled. I was trying so hard not to be awkward.

"Alice," she said. "If you don't mind me asking—I feel so confused, but I just don't understand—you see, there are things your dad never wants to discuss, and I feel that as your future stepmother and your father's future wife, I have the right to know why exactly you live with your aunt and uncle. I don't feel comfortable just accepting this." She took my hand across the table. "Even though I don't know what this is like for you, I understand that it must be difficult. I want us to have a good relationship."

I took a deep breath and tried not to display any particular emotion. So he hadn't told her. He hadn't even fed her a story. He'd just refused.

She filled my silence. "I even asked Cynthia about it, but she said it was between you and John. I'd hoped that maybe he tell me before you came, but he just won't. Maybe you two don't realize it, but there's such a disconnect between you. Not to mention that picture on your floor." I looked down. "Yes, I saw that. Please, Alice," she said. "I'm want to be part of your family, but I feel like I can't be until I know what happened."

I wanted to ask her to just let it go, but I knew she wouldn't. If I were in her place, I would feel just as frustrated. "Look," I said, "Cynthia's right. It is between me and him. I don't want to…damage your opinion about him or anything." I realized after I'd said it that I'd probably just made things worse.

She leaned forward across the table. "What did he do, Alice?"

I wanted so desperately to say it, to state it clearly, to let the truth be heard. But I felt wrong saying it to Sally behind his back. If she was going to find out, it wouldn't be like this. I pushed my chair back and stood up. "You should hear it from him. Call me later if you want my side of the story. I kind of want to hear his, too."

That was the last time the matter came up, as Jasper and I left a few hours later. I had a silent conversation with Cynthia in the car. She was upset that Dad and I hadn't settled things, but she'd seen what he'd been doing. Just because he'd succeeded in evading me didn't mean we were off the hook.

I tried one last time at the airport. Just before we went to security, I tried to pull him aside. "Dad—" I began, but he looked at his watch and interrupted.

"You'd better go before that line gets too long, or you'll miss your flight," he said. I felt as though I'd been slapped.

"Fine," I said. "Bye. See you in a few months." I hugged Sally and Cynthia and walked into the security line, allowing myself and Jasper to be engulfed in the crowd.

"All things considered, not that bad. What?" he said as I glared at him. "Things could have been much worse. I might have had to kill him, and that would have been messy."

I rolled my eyes and smiled despite myself. At least I'd be home soon. And Forks was home, now. I knew now that no matter how right it felt, my old house wasn't where I belonged. Not anymore.

For the rest of the summer, I continued to have dreams—normal dreams—about Maria. Every time I woke screaming from a nightmare, no matter how hard I tried to hold it in, Jasper became more and more agitated. By August, his attention had begun to drift away. No matter how hard I fought, I could feel it coming: he wanted to go after Maria, and he wanted to do it now. It was just a matter of when the blow would fall.

It was the week before Labor Day. We were in my room, studying, when Jasper said abruptly, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

I jumped up. "What?"

"To go after Maria. Emmett and Rosalie are going with me. Everyone else will stay here." The unspoken words hung in the air. _Just in case._

"Thanks for the warning," I muttered.

"It would have made this worse."

Not true. "So is tonight the last time I'll see you?"

He nodded. I launched myself into his arms. I tried hard to feel the pain, but he wouldn't let me, for once. "You'll feel enough when I'm gone," he said. "Imagine what it'll be like not to have your own personal mood-control again."

"PMS will be a bitch."

He laughed. "I hope Forks is still standing when I come back."

"I'll try not to destroy anything." I buried my head in his chest and breathed him in. We stayed like that until it was time to make Karen and Pete think he was gone. Before he left, he "reminded" them about his departure for Dartmouth. They'd completely forgotten that he was going there this year.

Jasper returned after they were asleep. He came through my window and sat in bed next to me. Maybe we should have had some sort of deep, meaningful last conversation, but we didn't. We just laid there all night. I tried to stay awake and experience him for as long as possible, but eventually I succumbed to sleep. When I woke up, he was gone.

* * *

*I know canon Alice can't see the werewolves, but for the purposes of moving the plot forward and because this is AU, I've decided that as a human, she can.*

So in case you couldn't figure it out by the note on which the chapter ended, this is the beginning of that *official* hiatus I've been hinting at. The main reason for this is to collect my thoughts for Part II and get it written. I've never been good at updating by writing a little bit at a time, and even if it means waiting a few months, the next part should be whole by the time I'm updating again. Thanks to everyone who's read and/or reviewed, and a special thank you to my beta, OCD_Indeed!


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